What the beauty of winter taught me

Winter has always been painful for me.  The cold hurts and I get nervous from driving in the snow.  But I remember something that someone told me last year.  It has been on my mind now and then but especially when winter arrives.  This person said if you don't like something, look for the good in it.  Do things that are fun. So, that is what I did. The other day I went up the mountain to take some pictures of the snow.  I took a photography class last summer and I wanted to practice and have fun taking a few shots of the scenery. I saw winter in a different light.  It truly is beautiful in it's unique way.  I came to the Pineview Reservoir and saw this beautiful shot.  So, I took a few.  My mother suggested I submit some pictures to the KSL weather photo contest.  I thought about it and the next day I sat down at my computer and chose my favorite ones.  Later that night, I received a text from my sister stating that my photo had been featured on the KSL 5:00pm weather.  I couldn't believe it.  I had just submitted my photo just hours before.  I looked on line and sure enough, there it was.  I am so grateful for the risk I took.  It reminded me that you never know what might happen.  You just have to try.

A clip of the weather report when my photo was featured.

Joy: The Light of the World

Since I was young, one of my favorite parts of celebrating Christmas is the lights.   They make me feel so happy.  I love to see the lights that decorate trees, yards, and streets.  I started thinking deeply about this tradition last year, since every tradition has a reason.  Why lights at Christmas?  And, do they have a significant piece explaining the true meaning of Christmas?

Many of us know the character the Grinch in the story “The Grinch that Stole Christmas” by Dr. Seuss. In the story, the Grinch was very concerned about the good feelings that came from Christmas.  He being, well, a Grinch, didn’t want anything to do with good feelings.  After failing at stealing Christmas, the Grinch realized that Christmas doesn’t come from a box.  It doesn’t come from a bag.  The Grinch said it himself, “Maybe Christmas means just a little bit more.”  To me, that “little bit more” comes in the symbol of the lights.  In fact, the lights are the whole reason for Christmas.

So, what is light? Light is the agent that stimulates our vision to make things visible. So, of course without light, we couldn’t see anything. Objects are visible to us when the light reflects off them and enters our eyes. In a completely dark room, there is no light and thus no stimulation. The neat thing is, light and dark cannot exist in the same space.  If there is the tinniest of light, it starts the process of defeating darkness. Light is a valuable resource we use every minute of every day.  We need it in more ways than just one.

The sun, the greatest natural source of light, does more than give us light.  It warms our beautiful earth and its sun-rays give us a much needed vitamin to lift our mood: Vitamin D.  The sun is a literal source of happiness. Without it, we have feelings of depression, sadness, and hopelessness. And speaking as a person who has been there, this is not a desirable place.  But sadly, our world makes us think that we should get our source of happiness from places that don’t produce real happiness.  They can actually cause more depression if we rely solely on them because most of the sources are temporary.  The Grinch thought Christmas came from the store. The world thinks we can get joy from similar places.  I like to call them the Three P’s: possessions, positions, popularity.

The dark place where only temporary happiness is found is undesirable to most. Scrooge in The Christmas Carol lived there a good portion of his life. His soul, the combination of the spiritual and physical being, was deficient in spiritual Vitamin D. This spiritual Vitamin D, the true source of joy to our soul, is love.  In fact, without the light of joy, our thinking enters a different kind of reality.  The kind of reality that stops us from making any kind of progress.  Because, you see, without light we cannot see.  And when we cannot see we have no direction.  If there is no direction, we do not move.  And when we do not move…. we are stagnate. 

So, the question is, how do we get that love?  How do we find the light?  How do we find true happiness?  First, we need to stop striving to get it from the wrong places.  We need to stop worrying about what we have... our possessions.  After a short time, those fancy, new, fun things become old and worthless. As long as we have the resources to fit our needs then that should be enough. 

My sister Susan told me of an experience that happened to her while living in Ukraine:  There was an elderly lady who woke up one morning to find she did not have any food in her cupboard.  So, she did the only thing she knew how.  She went to a field to pick wild flowers so she could sell them where most people would pass by: the metro.  She planned to buy food with the money she earned.  Most people passed her by.  Wild flowers did not interest them.  But when Susan saw this woman, she stopped.  She asked the lady what she would do once she sold her flowers.  The lady replied, “I will go home.”  So, Susan bought the flowers knowing she was helping a little old lady help herself.  The lady didn’t have the fanciest car or clothes.  In fact, she was barley getting by.  But with work, she had what she needed.  And for her, that would be enough.  Susan was blessed with enough money to help her out.  And for her, that brought happiness.

We also need to stop worrying about positions. We live in a competitive world.  We feel that in order to be somebody we must have an important position. How false that is! Yes, we need to work hard to accomplish goals and reach our dreams.  But that doesn’t mean we need to all be successful businessmen or any other high ranking profession or position in any other area of our lives. What it does mean is that each one of us must be the best “me” we know how. We are all unique.  We all have different gifts and talents.  We ALL have something important to contribute to the world. 

There is a story called Giraffes Can’t Dance written by Giles Andreae and Guy Parker-Rees. It is about a giraffe named Gerald who doesn’t know how to dance.  The other animals make fun of him when he tries.  Of course, Gerald felt defeated at the thought of even trying.  That is until a cricket came along and told him, “Sometimes when you’re different you just need a different song.”  And with that Gerald found his song.  He found a way to dance.  And when Gerald felt good about what he had done, the other animals noticed. They said, ‘“How did you learn to dance like that? Please, Gerald, tell us how.” But Gerald Simply twirled around and finished with a bow. Then he raised his head and looked up at the moon and stars above. “We all can dance,” he said, “when we find music that we love.”’  We need to find what we love. We need to find our own song.  And when we do, then we can dance.  Or in other words, we all have a beautiful life to live.  We just need to find our talents and abilities to make it beautiful.

And lastly, we need to stop worrying about our popularity.  Social media has made it harder to tackle this quest.  The more views or likes we get on a post seems to send the message that we are liked and accepted among our “friends”. And then, of course there is the social seen where you must have many friends. And if you don’t… well then the world sends the message: Looser! And if we don’t do what our friends do, well then forget about being accepted. But Christ, the very reason we celebrate this wonderful holiday, showed us that we don’t need to be popular to be happy. We just need a true relationship with Him because He, Christ, is the light of the world.  He, and everything about Him, is what true happiness encompasses.  He loved even though he wasn’t loved in return.  He served even though He was spit upon. He did what was right even though the Pharisees told Him He was a sinner.  Was Christ popular? No.  And still isn’t. But He is the greatest source of happiness that the world doesn’t recognize.

I recently wrote the words to a song called Through HisEyes that describes how, through Christ, we can be happy. The end summarizes what He, through the Atonement, has done for us:

Our Savior gave us eyes to see

He gave us the gift of charity

I must see me through His eyes

Only then can I see my capability

Christ gave us the beautiful gift of charity, pure love.  He gave us the capability to love others without limitations.  He gave us the ability to see ourselves and others as He sees all and do what He knows we can do.  When we love and see others and ourselves through the eyes of our Savior Jesus Christ, we find the light that only comes from Him. We find the source of joy, our spiritual Vitamin D, which we all yearn to have.

No, Christmas or joy does not come from the store.  It doesn’t even come from fame or world success. Joy, real everlasting joy, comes from Christ who is the light of the world.  And to me, the true meaning of Christmas is just that, Christ. And every year at Christmas time when I see lights on the tree, I think of my Savior who was born so long ago and what He did for me that I too might have joy.  When announcing the birth of the Savior to the shepherds, the angle said, “For behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.”

Through His Eyes

Hard Things and Why They Bring Us Happiness

Many if not all of us have heard the famous English expression: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going,” And if we haven’t heard that, then for sure we have been told to “Suck it up, baby!” a time or two. Life for sure can throw us a curve ball. And just like that expression suggests, the curve ball can comes when we least expect. To me, that is what makes the hard things in life, well, just plain hard. But, those hard things are just the things we need to bring us joy.

Exactly five years ago I was in the worst physical pain I have ever been in.  I ruptured a disk in my back and the fluid was pressing on my spinal cord. Later, just before I had surgery, I found out I was headed toward paralysis. Over the course of a few months, the pain became worse. My back would go into muscle spasms and I literally didn’t know what to do with my body.  No matter how I turned or moved the pain would not go away.  Nighttime became the dreaded part of my day.  The pain seemed ten times worse. Plus, the darkness seemed to mock me as if to say, “You didn’t want sleep anyway.” Needless to say, life was throwing me a curve ball that I desperately wanted no part of.

Was this experience hard for me? Absolutely yes! I honestly didn’t know how much longer I could endure the pain, both physically and emotionally. But the thing is, I didn’t give up.  I kept searching for ways to fix my problem. The happiness I felt when I woke up from surgery and felt no pain is beyond words. I was blessed and learned a few things that would help me in the future. About two weeks ago my dog Simon was having some back pain. (They say the dog and the owner are similar….he he he ) That night, I was reading in bed and my other dog, Jack, was adjusting and kicked Simon.  I heard a yelp. In the middle of the night I woke up to find my poor Simon paralyzed. This horrific experience happened on top of other stressful events I am currently battling. With this new trauma, I didn’t know if I could handle anymore. But, because of my own experience with back problems, I was equipped to make some tough decisions for my dog… all in faith.

I’m sure we have all had a similar experiences where we didn’t know if we could last one more minute enduring a difficult situation or we didn’t know if we could handle adding one more thing to our plate. We are taken to the breaking point. When we get to this point we have two choices: we can push just a little bit harder or we can allow ourselves to break. It is a choice.

My marching band instructor in high school would always tell us to reach deep down inside and give just a little bit more.  I didn’t realize how much that would prepare me for life in more ways than one. (Thanks Mr. Wayman!) I have found that the place where you reach down and give just a tiny bit more (because most of the time that is all we have left) is the place happiness emerges.

In a marathon, runners come to a point where they have to reach down and find, then use, any extra gumption they might have.  I found this out when I ran the 2010 marathon in Los Angeles, California. In the race, it was all me. Sure, I had my brother, sister, and mother to cheer me on. But it was me who had to move my legs. Most people when they enter a marathon have one goal: to finish. They know they will not be the first to cross the finish line or even be the superstar. They just want to show themselves that they could do something hard. That was my goal.  I started out so excited. With each passing mile, I increasingly became more and more tired. But isn’t that how it is with most challenges we take on? At first we have all the faith in the world.  We believe we can do it… that is until we get tired. This is when we make a critical choice: either quit or finish. By the time I hit mile 22, I was done.  I had nothing left in me, or so I thought.  I wanted to sit and never get back up. In fact, I wanted someone else to pick me up and take me home. But for some reason, I kept going.

The process of a marathon is often compared to the process of life. T. Allen Armstrong said, “Champions do not become champions when they win the event, but in the hours, weeks, months and years they spent preparing for it.”  Just like a marathon, life is work. In fact, we are supposed to work. This work is preparation for becoming greater than we could ever imagine. Also, the work we do now prepares us to fight even tougher battles ahead. Because of my personal experience with back issues and the complications that come with it, I was able to take care of my poor puppy (he is my world). You see, it is one thing to take care of yourself but you become a far greater person when you take care of someone else. You are putting them before yourself. This doesn’t come naturally to people. We usually have to experience the hard to learn it. The true and pure joy comes in taking care of, or serving, another.

It is an interesting concept to think that to find joy we must experience pain. This concept, opposition in all things, is an absolute truth that creates diversity, choice, and progression. Without bad there wouldn’t be good.  Without pain there wouldn’t be joy. Without hate there wouldn’t be love. Without hard there wouldn’t be easy. Both sides of the opposition has a purpose. And because of opposition, more choices are created. And more learning is possible.

Think of opposition as a pendulum that swings back and forth. Each side of the pendulum is each opposite. The further the pendulum swings on one side the further it will swing on the other. This creates greater capacity.  Our growth broadens and we become capable of deeper feeling and more doing. Just as a marathon runner digs down and pushes a little bit hard, he becomes stronger from the pain. And thus, the running eventually becomes easier. When it comes to hard things, the more we have to figure out and endure, the better we will be when it comes to that really hard thing down the road. The more pain we experience, the more we will be capable of deep love towards others- that is if we choose to not let that pain destroy us.

The joy I felt when I crossed the finish line is indescribable. I worked so hard to train for my 26.2 mile journey. And I learned that I can do hard things. Following my marathon there were a couple experiences in my life that have been some of the hardest things I have had to face. They hit me to the core. These “hard things” have made me step back and examine what life is all about. I have and am still gaining a new view on the grand skein of what really is important. One of my relatives, Neal A. Maxwell, was diagnosed with Leukemia in his later years. He said he often wondered why he had to face such a difficult trial in his life.  Surly cancer cannot lead to happiness. And yet, being the wonderful person Neal Maxwell was, he proved that it can. He said that he knew he had to experience leukemia so that he could empathetically teach people. You see, there was a reason for his leukemia. An important reason. There was a lot of hard work and pain involved but the purpose would bring comfort to others and to him as he served. His comfort would come in perspective of the eternities. He said, “Such glimpses of eternity can help us travel the next 100 yards, which may be very difficult.” Our purposes are bigger than this life alone. There is eternity to consider. And the eternities is where most of our joy will be found if we do the “hard things” now.

So, does that mean we are only meant to suffer through the hard things just so we can get to the joys later? Absolutely not. Joy comes in the journey.  It comes in our attitude and faith.  It comes with love towards others and ourselves. It comes in doing good to others and being kind to ourselves. We are meant to have joy in every minute of every day. 

The hard things in life are meant to give us experience. Just like in the purpose of opposition, we need to feel the pain so we can feel the joy. Those hard things are what make us in to amazing people, if we let them. Learn from experiences. It will benefit your future and your happiness. Simon taught me some amazing things through this trail he is facing. He keeps a positive attitude, knows what he can handle, and is not afraid to ask for help. He tries hard each day to recover and has fun in the meantime (he loves to bark outside, chew his squeak toy, and snuggle in blankets). Most of all, he shows me love everyday. He forgets about himself and is kind to those who matter most to him. Is this trial hard for Simon? I’m positive it is. But, he is finding joy in his journey. And to him, that’s what makes him truly happy.

Change is Inevitable...Do you build a wall or a windmill?

One of the few inevitable things in life is change. There are many kinds of change.  Some happen gradual.  This is apparent in each of our lives as we grow older and learn new things. Our experiences transform and mold us into who we are today.  Other changes happen suddenly, such as an illness, moving, or graduating from school or a program.  Change can be internal or external. Good or bad. Some are big and others small. The point is, change is constantly happening in our lives in all its variety.

It seems that no matter how hard you try, things will change around you.  Some have found ways to deal and even embrace it.  But for many, change is a hard thing to accept. It is a difficult and uncomfortable process. So, they fight to stay the same.  In other words, they hold on to what they know.  I have found that both change and fighting to avoid change are stressful in their different ways. But, change happens for a reason and if we fight to shun the discomforts of change then we void the very reason change needs takes place.

One change happened to me a little over 10 years ago.  I was living in an apartment in the city, working full time in social work, receiving care for a health issue, and going to school to earn my teaching degree.  Life was busy but I was optimistic that all my efforts would one day pay off. On a Friday in January, I went to lunch with a friend from work.  He was a great friend and I looked forward to our time together. We had so much fun at Cowboy Grub (our favorite restaurant) but when we returned back to the office it was unusually quiet. I had that sinking feeling in my gut (that one I’m sure we’ve all had) and knew something was going on. My new boss asked me to come into his office where I also saw the head of human recourses.  They sat me down and proceeded to tell me what was happening. The non-profit agency I was working for decided they were changing the services offered and the program I was supervisor over was dissolved starting immediately.  I found out that while I was at lunch all the other employees were laid off.  I was the last one. Human resources- treating me like I was now the enemy- walked me to my office and watch me as I gathered my things, put them in a brown box, then escorted me to my car.  I felt degraded, not to mention in shock. I had absolutely no idea that this was in the works.  It was an instant change that dramatically affected my life. Not only did I not have a job so I could pay my bills but my health insurance was also terminated.  How could I afford medical care?  I went home and had to think how I was going to handle things.  The anxiety was on instant alert. I was thrown into change I did not choose. I had to make a choice: would I sink or swim?

There are countless articles and quotes on how to change ourselves to become better people.  I think this is because change is what leads to progression. We all know that it is good for us and in order to grow, we must change. But sometimes when a change happens (especially one we didn’t choose), the last thing we want to hear is that it will be good for us. Something in our life was altered and it is difficult to see how it can be good for us. The Webster’s dictionary defines change as just that: to make something different or to replace with another. Basically, what we are changing doesn’t stay, it is removed. I have found that change is very similar to the grieving. When something changes, we must go through a process in order to make sense of it. I think people don’t like change because it is simply hard.  The process of change requires us to rewire our thinking and emotions to understand what is different in our lives.  Most of the time this course takes time.

A Chinese proverb describes how change affects people. It says: When the winds of change blow some people build walls and others build windmills. I defiantly faced this predicament when I was laid off my job. I had the choice to find a different route to accomplish my goals, to just give up, or fight to keep things how I thought they should be. I learned it takes one or all of the steps of grief to understand what changed in my life. Also, I knew that if I were to build a wall it would only cause me to be bitter at what happened.  That does no good. In fact, anger, if we allow it to consume us, will lead us on the path to destruction. Walls also block other opportunities out. If we were to look at the saying “When one door closes another one opens” and apply it to our wall, we would not only close the door but we would bolt all the others doors closed to ensure that nothing else gets through. In essence, we are denying the chance of anything better to come along.

In order to allow ourselves to build “a windmill”, we must allow humility to enter into our hearts. Humility is the quality of being humble. Ezra Taft Benson, a great leader, said, “Pride is concerned with who is right, humility is concerned with what is right.” When change happens, we must let go of any negative feelings we experienced and focus on what is right. Humility doesn’t mean we are weak or passive.  That is what the world wants us the think.  Humility shows strength because we are showing we can manage our own feelings.  It gives us power to choose then do what is true. We can adjust to any change in our life because our eyes are open to what is right, not who is right.

In addition to understanding the good change can bring to our lives, we must also understand that not all change will benefit us.  Because of human error, pride, greed, and selfishness, among other reasons, some change can challenge our way of living. Some change may have the appearance of looking good but when seen in the eyes of truth it is only there to drag us down. When faced with these circumstances, we must turn to what we know is good and true.  We must never abandon our morals and values to adjust to what the world sees as good change.

So, how do we know if change is good or bad? Humility.  It is the first (I believe the most important) step to seeing change as it truly is. However, it is only one of the valuable tools we must be armed with in order to understand any kind of change and learn from it. These tools come in a variety.  They include support, experience, education, and service. Socrates said, “The secret to change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” These other tools help us “build the new.” The good new. They help us build our windmill. If I was going to move on and adapt to my new life, I needed to find a way to move forward. Not focus on what once was.

As a kindergarten teacher, I read numerous stories to my students. Some teach me great lessons and I often reflect on their message.  One book that impressed me is called little tree by Loren Long[i].  It starts out, “Once there was a little tree….filled with little leaves….” This tree, who lived in a forest, grew very attached to his leaves.  He loved that they kept him cool in the summer and attracted animals to keep him company.  The little tree was optimistic that he was going to grow to be a strong healthy tree.  However, change happened…autumn.  Even through the leaves on the other trees changed colors then fell off, the little tree decided to hold tight to his leaves.  He was scared to let go.  The seasons and years changed but the little tree still hung on to his same leaves.  Meanwhile, the other trees had grown new leaves and were also growing taller and stronger.  But the little tree stayed the same.  The story goes on, “Little Tree looked up at the other trees, at their branches reaching high into the sky. He remembered when the trees had all been his size. And he let go.”  When the tree finally let go it was winter… the harshest season.  But in time, the little tree grew and he too became big and strong.

What an amazing transformation the little tree went through when he finally decided to let go.  No, it wasn’t easy.  But after time, he was able to reach the potential he so optimistically saw in himself. Butterflies, like the little tree, show what beauty can come from the process of change.  If they stayed the same, they would forever be caterpillars whose only job in life is to eat.  But as they allow the process of change to occur in their lives, they become beautiful insects. These insects are not only beautiful in appearance, but they are also beautiful in their purpose.  Instead of just taking, they now give back to nature.  They help flowers continue their life cycle through their ability to pollinate.

As I look back in my own life, I see the process of change that started with the tragic even of being laid off.  That change led to other changes that were also difficult but necessary for me to get to where I am today. It opened the door to do my internship that semester, the last step required in order to enter into the teaching program and begin my student teaching.  At the end of the summer that year I had to move back home (being in my thirty’s, this was a hard blow to my self-esteem). But it allowed me to develop an amazing friendship with my mother that I will forever cherish.  It also allowed me to save up for my own home.  I now am blessed with a great teaching job and a beautiful home… all because of change.

Although change is difficult, it is necessary.  The purpose of this life is to learn and grow.  The only way for growth to happen is through change.  Humans (I’m very guilty of this) put up walls to protect themselves from the harsh winds of change. What we don’t realize is that the very wall we built isn’t protecting, it is only prohibiting. Humpty Dumpty teaches us a great lesson.  When he sat on the wall, he fell. The wind can be a force for good if we let it. It can give us power to do things we never imagined possible.  Let’s leave our walls down and build windmills instead.

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[i] Long, Loren. (2015). Little tree. New York: Scholastic.

Discovering Our Talents…How great they are indeed

I’m sure we have all been given the compliment “You’re so talented!” Most of us think of a talent as an ability that comes to us naturally.  We think that effort shouldn’t be required to get better, we just are.  But, if one of the purposes of life is to learn and we are automatically great at something, I wonder what the purpose of a talent is. Are they given to us for a reason? Talents seemed to be viewed as the abilities we can showcase but there are so many talents that people are not aware of or the world doesn’t seem to value. Those tend to be the ones that matter most.

I grew up with a girl named Brenda.  We went to elementary, junior high and high school together.  We were in band class and both of us played the clarinet.  I remember our yearly marching band camp and concert band trips to California. We had such a fun time sharing rooms.  To this day we still reminisce over the funny experiences we had. When we were together then and now, I watch Brenda interact with others.  She always treats people with love.  In fact, one of her favorite things in the world is to show love to those she cares about through hugs.

Sadly, there were times I did not appreciate her amazing gift.  Because of my own issues, I pushed people away, including Brenda. But she always stood in the shadows waiting for me to figure things out and then accept me with open arms as we reconnected. Brenda’s amazing capacity to love is indeed a talent that not everyone possess, but can. She had to work at it. Brenda has had many trials and struggles in her life that have given her the opportunity to open her heart and love others instead of shut them out.  Because of her choices and her hard work, her love is pure and unconditional. She sees the person as they truly are: a person of value and beauty.

Cotton Mather, a 17th Century American theologian and author, said, “Our opportunities to do good are our talents.”  The purpose of a talent is to do good for and to others.  Brenda is a true example of using talents for good.  Through her talent to love, she taught me that I am valued and loved not matter the mistakes I make.  That is a gift from Brenda I will always cherish and am currently working to develop. It is when we use our talents for our own personal gain that we change our perspective in life into one that is selfish in nature.  This change is happening everywhere. We live in a world where the central focus of a person’s life is themselves.  We often think, “What about me?”

The current fad in television shows is competitive reality TV. This past summer I watch World of Dance on NBC.  This is a show where dancers from all around the world come to compete for 1 million dollars by eventually preforming the top dance.  This show, and most all reality TV, is edited in such a way that it shows a piece of the competitor’s story, but this is only so we as an audience can connect emotionally with them. And if we do see their struggles, it is laced with loads of unnecessary drama. However, TV is not how real life works. TV is only entertainment. It is interesting that people fight for their spot on TV…. to get known.  Most use their talents as a vehicle to get there.  I’m not saying it’s bad to allow your talents to help you reach success.  In fact, finding then improving talents is a great approach to help us live a happy, productive life. But it made me wonder if we put more value on those talents that help us succeed rather than those that makes us better people. What is the difference between the two? Our mindset.

Dancing and other performing arts are definitely types of talents that can make us into better people.  As a dancer, I have learned about failure, self-esteem, and hard work.  But most people don’t connect those qualities with a performing arts talent.  They just see the wonderful performance and gawk over the person’s ability.  And this is where we get caught in the trap of using our talents for personal gain.  We motivate ourselves to work hard to gain a reputation, not to help others or better our personal self.  And that is where this mind set becomes not only twisted but also ironic because the purpose of a talent is to contribute to the amazing work of making this world a better place for all. This made me think of a lady I met many years ago who couldn’t showcase a skill on stage but she had the wonderful ability to listen. The sad thing is that if looked at through the eyes of the world, she wouldn’t be considered as talented as a person who could dance, sing, or paint.

Several years ago while I was attending college to become a teacher, I would volunteer at my mother’s school. She worked with a beautiful lady who knew how to listen.  When you talked, she stopped what she was doing, turned, and looked at you.  She didn’t think of what she was going to say next or worried that you came in at the wrong time because she had to get something done.  Instead, she was engaged in what you were saying and made you feel like your words mattered.  The conversation wasn’t about her, it was about the subject you brought up.  In the eyes of the world, her ability to listen would be considered a passive trait.  This is because the listener is allowing another to be the focal point. Talking, on the other hand, is viewed as the more active, strong trait because the talker is letting their thoughts be known. Of course both actions have their place and there must be a balance. Still, I view listening as a talent of strength, love, and unselfishness.  For when you listen, the other feels valued.

I’m sure this amazing lady didn’t wake up one day and decide that she was going to be a great listener.  It took work and time. To some it may appear that others acquire their talents so easily.  I believe that we can acquire any talent we want with the necessary work and patience.  Yes, it is true that some things feel harder than others.  But that doesn’t mean that we can’t learn.

Those who ever attended college know that writing papers is a common assignment. It was then that I realized how much I hated writing.  I would sit at the computer for hours, staring at it with no idea what to write. I have never been good at putting together words, both in the written or spoken form.  I stumble, especially when I am nervous, and many times my mind goes blank. But this past year, I read a book about journal writing.  I read how journaling is a great way to think through things and figure them out.  So, I tried it out.  I sat down and started to write.  The nerves dissolved because I knew no one would see the words but me. No judgement.  Absolutely, some of my sentences didn’t make sense when I reread my writing.  However, the more I wrote, the more comfortable I got. I felt my ability to express myself increased. I felt like I was gaining my voice.  After about a year, I noticed how much I enjoyed writing and received compliments on my style.  My weakness became (or is becoming- I’m still learning) a strength.  It took discovery, a desire, constant effort, and time.  I now see writing as something I love. It has been a blessing because it has helped me see life in a different light. I share my writing not so I can become famous one day or convince everyone that they should think like me.  I write because maybe, just maybe, through sharing my love of writing with experiences and thoughts, I could inspire someone. And maybe that inspiration could lead to making needed choices to have a happier, more fulfilled life. Most of that time, that one person is myself. The teacher always seems to learn more.

Talents, as shown in the story of me learning to write, are not limited to things that come natural to us.  If this were the case, we would be very limited on what we can accomplish in life. The first step in gaining a talent is to make a discovery.  To do that we must try new things.  We need to put ourselves into a position where we will learn and have new experiences. Then, we must have the desire to nurture it.  We can do anything we put our mind to.  It may take a whole lot of trial and failure but if we keep at it, pretty soon it will be second nature to us. One of my biggest pet-peeves is someone telling me I can’t do something.  I’ve had many experiences where I was told to give up.  I’m so glad I didn’t listen.

Sadly, we are too quick to give up on a talent if the motivation to keep going is not instant or what is valued by the population. Greed, power, and fame are the three things our world values above all.  The world tells us that if we don’t have money, and important position in life, and many people who know and respect us that we are of no worth. Many use their talents to get at least one of these three worldly possessions thinking that they will feel cherished once they earn it. I have found just the opposite is true. Worldly treasures are only temporary.  When I work hard to increase talents and then use them to help someone else, I am rewarded 10 fold by the way I feel and the qualities I inherit.  To me, that is far more valuable than what fame or fortune will ever give because those are the gifts that last for eternity.

Transforming Power of the Atonement

We often think of the Atonement as a cleansing power.  However, it is so much bigger than that.  It helps us be better people.  We get to learn through trials and struggles but the Lord is there to comfort and support us.  We are given gifts through the Atonement that can enable us to be the kind of people that we otherwise couldn't be.  I am so grateful for the Atonement and its ability, if I do my part, to help me do a little better each day.

The Wonderful, Beautiful YOU

We all have a different relationship with our reflection.  And just like any relationship, it takes time and patience to develop into something beautiful. It can also be a representation of the stories in a person’s life. Each story is unique and full of joys and pains. Some show the joys from laugh lines or the stress through gray hair. The thing is, a reflection in the mirror is not a person’s whole story. It is only skin deep. Society tells us we must look a certain way to be acceptable. We read articles, try to copy pictures, and experiment on ourselves to meet these acceptance standards. But is this what really makes us beautiful? 

There was a time when I wasn’t too fond of my reflection. I often referred to myself as having what I like to call the “ugly duckling syndrome.” When I was a young kid (around 6 or 7) I broke my nose at school.  Being someone who didn’t like to make a big deal of things, I never told anyone.  My nose healed with a bump on it. I noticed (and it was often pointed out to me) in my early preteen years that my nose didn’t look like other noses. As a result, I was very self-conscious. The combo of being chunky and having a bump nose was disastrous to my esteem. I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror and I didn’t like what was under the surface.  I thought my refection proved that my whole self was worthless.

I’ve read many books to help me with my body image issues.  One book I’ve read recently (because I still struggle now and then) is called “Body Image Breakthrough” by Jaci Wightman.  She writes that in the early stages of life we are learning to explore and use our senses and body to enjoy this amazing world. Then she goes on to say, “But as we got older, …we began to internalize the world’s ideas about what a physical body should look like. Only when we started to compare ourselves with the golden image of beauty did we see our hair as too thin and our hips as too wide; only then did we feel the need to cover and hide our body’s imperfections.”[i]  I was (and still am) absolutely 100% guilty of this.  Around the same time I spiraled into an eating disorder obsessed with becoming thin, I had surgery on my nose to correct it.

The worst thing we can do to our self-esteem is compare ourselves to another person.  We are essentially saying that the person we are comparing ourselves to is “perfect” and we need to be like them. And when we strive to be like another we are worshipping them or what they emulate. So, as Jaci put it, we are worshipping the golden image of beauty. We are telling ourselves that we are not good enough and the best way to fix it is to cover it up or change it.

I was talking with my friend Claire the other day.  We had similar issues with our bodies growing up and she said I could share a story of her childhood. As a child, her mother was concerned about Claire’s weight.  She had a sugar addition and her mother would limit foods she could eat, including bread.  One problem was that Claire’s mother loved to bake bread and Claire loved to eat it. One day, her mother made a delicious loaf of bread and told Claire that she could have one slice. She became expert at hiding evidence of food she had secretly eaten.  That one slice turned into a little rip there and a tear here until she hollowed out an entire loaf of bread. Nervous of what her mother might think and do, Claire wrapped up the loaf, turned it around, and put it in the freezer.  Just as Claire hid the evidence of her imperfect choices, we too hide our imperfections by covering them up in hopes that no one will find out.

We live in a world where judgment is common.  We grow up unknowingly being compared to others as babies in looks and abilities.  We then enter the school system, we are compared with our classmates on how we rank in our learning abilities.  While in school, we notice similarities and differences in our appearance from others.  Those physical attributes are also rated among peers.  Varginia Satir, a pioneer in family therapy, refers to self-image often.[ii]  She teaches us that the lower our self-worth is, the less we trust people.  We all know that when we don’t trust others we are nervous to show our true selves because there is risk of judgement.  No one likes being judged.  And just like Claire did when she was a child and I did with my surgery, we hide or change what we think (or rather what we fear others think) is wrong about ourselves.  But what we are forgetting is that our imperfections are what makes us unique.  And in a world full of individuals and ideas, each person has their own interpretation of what they were taught beauty is.

The definition of what is measured as beautiful changes over time and from culture to culture. Once it was considered beautiful to be fat where now, thin is in.  The standards are never constant and they change because an influential person decided to look a certain way one day. And since we are creatures of competition, we try to live up to that image or surpass it. The bar is continually getting raised or changed the more we compare and compete with others.  We are left confused because trying to live up to something that is not steadfast and true causes chaos and self-doubt.

So, what is true beauty? Elaine S. Dalton, an influential representative among the youth, tells what she calls “deep beauty.”  She said, “It is the kind of beauty that cannot be painted on, surgically created, or purchased. It is the kind of beauty that doesn’t wash off. It is spiritual attractiveness. Deep beauty springs from virtue.”[iii] True beauty comes from the good you do.  It comes from the way you treat others and how you build yourself.  It comes from your experiences and positive outlook.  True beauty is something of greater value than the clothes you wear or the way you do your hair. True beauty is where real happiness comes from.

As I think of true beauty, Winnie the Pooh comes to mind.  You may think, what does Winnie the Pooh have to do with beauty? Winnie the Pooh was a character who loved everyone for who they were.  He took care of himself, was virtuous, kind, respectful, positive, and loving.  His friends didn’t care what he looked like or what he wore.  They loved him because he was himself and emulated qualities that helped him be the best him he could be.

Beauty does not come from a box or the store.  It comes from the inside out.  I had it all wrong when I was young.  My outside doesn’t define my insides.  It’s just the opposite.  My insides will always reflect my outside. If I could go back and tell that self-conscious girl anything, I would tell her the exact thing that hangs on my bathroom wall: Be your own kind of beautiful. In other words, love the whole you.  Love your beautiful body, that you even have one.  Take care of it.  Exercise, eat healthy, and respect it. Love what it does for you. Love your scares and imperfections, both inside and out. Love your unique characteristics that make you, you. And most of all, love what you have become and what you are working on to be a better version of you.

The witch in Snow White had the wrong conversation with the mirror.  She asked to get rated and compared to others in the village, namely Snow White. Too often we ask others what they think of us.  We compare ourselves to the image of beauty that the world sets as a standard.  Rather than comparing, it is important to see yourself as you truly are: someone of beauty with unique character and ability.  Someone who doesn’t look or act exactly like anyone else. Someone who’s story is your own. Build a strong, confident relationship with yourself.  And when you look in the mirror, make the statement: Mirror, mirror on the wall…I’m the fairest me of all.    

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[i] Wightman, Jaci. Body Image Breakthrough. Cedar Fort, Inc: Springville, UT, 2014.

[ii] Satir, Virginia. The New Peoplemaking. Science and Behavior Books: Mountain View, CA, 1988.

[iii] Dalton, Elaine S., Remember Who You Are. April 2010. Retrieved at https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/04/remember-who-you-are?lang=eng on September 9, 2018.

The Parable of the Blackberry Bush

Have you ever seen a blackberry bush? My sister-in-law, Jess, invited me to pick blackberries with her and my cute nieces.  Blackberry bushes grow to be tall thorny plants with clusters of berries.  Some are easily accessed and others are deep in the bush. I quickly realized, as I picked the berries, that my hands and arms were scraped and bleeding from the insult of the thorns, even if I was so careful.  I started to think about life and how picking blackberries teaches so many lessons. I wrote the following parable leaving the meaning up to you, since we all need to hear and learn something different.

There was a girl who loved blackberries.  She felt so lucky because they grew in abundance down by the river.  Each day she walked the short distance to pick a basket full of berries.  She brought them back to her cottage to create delicious and beautiful deserts for friends and family.  One day, she had the desire to make a decadent blackberry tart that was never attempted but dreamt of.  Only the best blackberries would do for this particular desert. And she was sure that she would have no problem finding the right ones. Since she picked blackberries daily, she was fully aware of the thorns on the bush. However, they were never a problem.  The berries always seemed to be within reach, away from danger. So the thought of bringing gloves never crossed her mind. She fetched her basket and was on her way.

When she arrived at the river, her heart sank when she noticed that all the best blackberries were deep in the bush.  Determined, she quickly pushed any doubt aside. She just had to get the best because only the best would do.  Remembering she didn’t have gloves, the girl carefully and slowly reached through the bush.  But she failed.  The thorns had gotten to her hands and arms.  She quickly pulled her arm back, further injuring herself.  She was so nervous to try again but those blackberries were too good to pass up.  She firmly decided that those were the berries she would get. She tried again.  And again, the same results.  But this time she was frustrated and tired.  She didn’t know if she should go on. 

As she was contemplating what do to, a man walked down the path.  He saw her frustrated and tired disposition and asked if there was any way he could help.  She refused his help.  This was her problem and allowing anyone to help would prove she was a failure.  She continued to think.  Before long, a gust of wind raced through blowing blackberries to the ground. She pushed them aside thinking there must be something wrong with these berries since they had fallen so easily from the bush.  At last, she looked up and saw a small opening in the bush.  The wind had tossed the branches and leaves in the storm.  The leaves had surprisingly stuck to the thorns making it a safe opening to put her bare hand through.  Sadly, her hopes were dashed.  The opening didn’t provide an easy way to the particular berries she so desperately wanted. 

Her frustration, doubt, and fear had won.  She decided to return home empty handed.  The tart she so wanted to make remained a dream.  That night she wondered why it had to be so hard to pick blackberries this time.  Her whole time living in the cottage she pick them so easily.  Why did today have to be so different? 

Education...Does it really even make a difference?

For many, a good education is viewed as something only certain people can receive. It is one of those things valued in the American culture.  Maybe because it is considered rare. Those who have more tend to have a better quality of life.  In fact, there was a study done in Denver that found that low education levels were a direct link to lifespan.[i]  In this age of technology, knowledge is literally at our finger tips. But is that enough?
Knowledge alone is not education in its fullest.  Wisdom must be in tandem with knowledge to be considered a true education and to make a positive impact on a person’s life. So, what are knowledge and wisdom?  My neighbor plainly defined and differentiated the two.  He said that knowledge is the “what” and wisdom is the “how”.  In other words, we gain facts about a certain subject to increase in knowledge and learn how to apply it to grow in wisdom.  When one puts the facts and skill together, they become educated in that area. 
I love to learn.  Geeky or not, some of my favorite things to watch on TV are documentaries.  We can learn so much about the world around us in the comfort of our own home with a good documentary. In the past ten years I have watched many documentaries on nutrition.  I have learned so much about the needs of our bodies and why good food choices are necessary for a healthy life.  My interest in nutrition didn’t come out of nowhere. Nor did someone push it on me because they knew I’d need to know about it someday. Circumstances in my life led me to finding out more about why nutrition is so important.
I grew up in a large traditional family where my father worked and my mother stayed at home with my brothers, sisters and I.  My parents where amazing and sacrificed so much for their children.  The food bill was the highest bill of the month because feeding 8 children took a lot of money.  The best way to make the dollar stretch was to buy the prepackaged processed food.  It filled our tummies and we as kids liked the taste. (I have since realized how nasty that stuff is.) As a result, and in addition to other factors, I gained weight.  By 5^th grade I was a chunky kid. My weight problem persisted the rest of my growing up life into my twenties. My weight effected my self-esteem and I developed major body issues.  By the time I hit my later twenties I had flipped the other way. I was losing weight rapidly through constant exercise, very limited food intake, and the occasional food purging. I was heading towards anorexia. I had a problem.
With education so available to us, why do people not take advantage of such opportunities?  One reason is insecurity.  We are insecure when we do not feel safe in particular situations, usually within our own thinking. The ironic thing is that insecurities stem from the lack of education.  I have noticed powerful insecurities in my own life.  My eating disorder is one example. I lacked the knowledge, skills and tools to address my problem and thus headed down the wrong path. In my career, I have seen how education is power.  The more you can understand and figure out, the better off you will be.  When a person lacks education, they are not as effectively able to accomplish a task.  This ineffectiveness leads to lack of confidence which then can result in a deficiency of motivation and the task not getting completed.  There is then no growth and the insecurity that is impeding safety does not get resolved.  We are left stuck. So, instead of gaining power from knowledge and application we allow our insecurity to gain power over us.
I heard a story once where a college professor was trying to prove this point to his class.  He asked one of his students to come up and sit at the piano.  He then put music in front of him and asked him to play as if his life depended on it.  The student look lost and a bit frustrated.  He looked up at the professor and told him that he couldn’t play the music.  The professor asked why not.  The student then replied that he had never learned. Without the knowledge and skill the student was powerless.  He was subject to his lack of education. In other words, he was stuck.
The best way to regain power in your life is to educate yourself.  As mentioned before, education goes beyond learning the facts.  Instead of just knowing that 1+1=2 we must know why it equals two and how we are going to apply it in our lives. We must learn to think critically and how to solve our problems.  Gaining knowledge is the easier part. One way we can increase our knowledge is the traditional way with schooling.  In America, children are offered tuition free education.  And there are many ways we can affordably attend post-secondary schooling.  So, the opportunity is there, we just have to buckle down take it.
Wisdom, on the other hand, is where a lot of people stop in their education.  They have no idea what to do with the information they acquired. So, they end up not doing anything with it and it gets lost.  Also, wisdom takes time and diligence.  You must live and apply your learning to experiences to gain wisdom.  In the example of 1+1=2, a person must experience it in their life.  I teach my little kindergartners that if they bought a piece of candy at the store and then someone gave them a piece, they would then have two pieces of candy.  The wisdom develops when they think critically. They must ask themselves if two pieces of candy are too much.  Or, “if I already bought a piece of candy do I really need the one my friend gave me?”  This is when 1+1=2 becomes more than just knowledge because they understand what to do with it and apply it in their lives.
Obviously life is more complicated than simple math facts, but the concept of education is the same.  Many people tend to be lazy and place the blame and responsibility on others for their learning and problems.  Rather, it is their responsibly to take action.  I learned that first hand with my eating disorder.  I could have easily blamed my parents, leaders, teachers, and the list goes on for not teaching me how to eat properly.  But the blame was not theirs, it was mine.  I was the one with the problem and I was the one who needed to figure what to do about it.  So that is exactly what I did.  In addition to my own research through documentaries and books, I reached out to friends and leaders for help.  I went to my primary care doctor and she referred me for counseling. I didn’t have to do it alone.  There were people to help.  And through the application of my knowledge from experiences, I was able to recover.
I believe the findings in the Denver study are accurate.  People with higher levels of education do have a better quality of life.  But I’m not just talking about people with multiple college degrees.  I’m also talking about people who seek out knowledge and then apply it to life.  These people, in my book, are those who know what life really is and how to use what they know to their advantage.  The amazing thing: education is not something only certain people can have.  It is available to all. You just have to put forth the effort.  And when you do put for the effort, this is when education really is powerful. Because the more you know and apply the less you will fear. And when fear is taken out of the equation, you will be unstoppable.

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[i] Ivins, Jessica (2015, July 9). Low education levels just as hazardous to your health as smoking, study reveals [News Report]. Accessed on August 25, 2018 at https://www.ksl.com/article/35426534/low-education-levels-just-as-hazardous-to-your-health-as-smoking-study-reveals

The Beauty of Failure

Failure….. It’s one of those words that make most people cringe. In fact, failure is one of the top leading fears in the world. There are many reasons why people fear failure so much, each linking to an event, situation, or thinking pattern in their lives. The demand we put on ourselves to be perfect is high.  This is so common that there is that popular phrase: We are harder on ourselves than others. But why?  We all know that each one living on this planet is human and part of being human is making mistakes. And yet, we still demand perfection from ourselves.  The ironic thing is that perfection is unattainable in our human existence.  We are here to learn and part of learning includes failure.

I have loved to dance as long as I can remember.  There is a saying that goes something like: Dance like nobody is watching.  Well, that is exactly what I did.  In the privacy of my own home I’d dance and dance.  It was the perfect way for me to express my emotions.  After wanting to learn the technical skills of dancing my whole life, I finally signed up for a dance class as an adult six years ago- tap dancing.  I loved to dance in the class, but I also had a problem.  There were people watching.  For some reason I had it in my head that I wasn’t allowed to mess up. If I did then I was a complete failure which led to thoughts related to low self-worth. I had myself fooled that my secret was hidden so perfectly. The truth was…it wasn’t.

Failure is something we cannot hide.  It is something we all do and should do.  In fact, when we try to hide our imperfections we end up enslaved to the lies.  We have to continue to put on a “show” so that everyone will continue to believe we have no flaws.  But a human being with no flaws is a person who has done nothing with their life.  But that right there is a flaw too because we are on earth to live and grow.  Failures happens daily in varying degrees.  It is our decision how we want to react to them.  Walt Disney said something to the effect that failure may either drown you or shape you.  Essentially, it is your choice.

One of the ways we can break the chains of hiding our failures is to own them.  When we allow ourselves to show our mistakes we are free from the effects of worrying about what others think or say. In essence, we become real people. Our flaws are part of what gives us character and beauty.  It’s just like the black lines in marble stone.  Without the lines, the stone looks fake, almost plastic like.  Also, when we own our failures we develop a positive relationship with them.  They become a tool for learning. We can then grow as an individual.

A positive relationship with failure has many attributes to offer. It creates clarity, creativity, and confidence.  When we fail we can look at a situation and see what we need to do to change.  We develop creativity by thinking of new ways of addressing our challenge and build confidence because we are working to solve a problem rather than being stagnate. Thomas Edison is a great example of seeing failures in a positive light.  He failed at many attempts of inventing the lightbulb until he was successful. But he said that when you feel you have exhausted all possibilities to remember one thing: you haven’t.  There is always a way.

I believe the most valuable gift failure can give to us is experience.  Our experiences shape us into who we are.  We are forever changing, whether it be for good or bad.  Every day we wake up and have a day full of choices and opportunities.  We form opinions and learn something from everything we are involved in. Our failures become part of us.  They are engrained in our personalities.  As we learn from them, we are kept humble, learn to overcome fears, and build strength.  Our weaknesses eventually become our strengths while gaining empathy for those who are struggling with similar challenges.  Our hearts grow softer and we learn to love those we serve.  Failure is not meant to beat us down.  Rather, through experience with failure we become even more beautiful, knowledgeable, and loving.

My involvement in tap dancing has proven to be an experience with failure I will forever cherish. Last year I had the opportunity to start individual tap lessons. After a few months of struggling with some technical skills, my instructor videoed me dancing my routine.  Watching myself was meant to be a way I could see my mistakes so I would have a better idea how to fix them.  I took the video home promising to keep an open mind while watching (she knew me too well that I would come down on myself). That night I chose to own my failures instead of hiding from them. 

A few months later I performed my dance in front of many people.  I defiantly made some mistakes in my performance. But you know what?  I had the best time doing it.  My mistakes are more valuable to me than the steps I got right because they are the very experiences that are going to help me become a better dancer.

This past summer I had the opportunity to take a photography class.  I realized the pictures that are most beautiful are those that capture moments in real life- flaws and all. Life is made up of times of success and failure.  Everything has its opposite.  The gift in that is when we experience hard, excruciating times our successes become that much more exquisite.  We must change our thinking pattern from fearing failure to embracing it.  And it is only when we embrace it that we can receive the wonderful gifts it has to offer us. For failure is the gate to perfection.  

Choice: The Real Kind of Freedom

We have all heard the saying “free as a bird.” Freedom is a blessing that is valued all over the world.  Some countries have partial freedoms while other countries have complete independence. It made me wonder why freedom is so valued.  Do those who have total freedom value it as much as those who don’t? In a guided journal my mom gave me for Christmas last year it asked the question: What does freedom mean to you?  Let me ask you the same question: What does freedom mean to YOU?

I guess to really answer that question, one must know what freedom is.  Most people think freedom is to be able to do what you want, where you want, how you what, with whom you want.  The key word there is want.  In other words, we don’t have to cater to anyone or anything, including laws. But what if I told you that this definition was only partially correct, if at all?  In the Oxford dictionary freedom is defined as: the power to act, speak, or think as one wants. The state of being not imprisoned or enslaved.[1] So, what it is saying is: in the state of being in power to choose for one’s self.  The key word is choose.  There is no mention of being relieved from the responsibility to follow rules or laws.

Being a teacher I get so see my students make choices all day long.  Some are good and some poor.  But the choices are theirs to make.  In my classroom, I have a set of rules the students must follow.  Consequences follow no matter what choice is made.  This is justice is full action.  It is just like the law of gravity.  If I were to drop a ball then the consequence would be that the ball would plummet to the ground.  If left uninterrupted, the ball would hit the floor and disturb what was in its path.  However, if another person were to stick out their hand and catch it, the end result would be different.  The consequence still followed and the law of justice still was honored, but mercy was the factor that changed the course or the end result of the ball.

Many people get frustrated or even angry with the law of justice.  It has no regard for the feelings or condition of a person or thing.  However, it is the law that creates order in our world.  Without justice, trust would be diminished and chaos would rule.  People would be doing what, where, how, with whom they liked with no consequences and everything would be in an uproar. We would then be enslaved by chaos because without order our choices available would decrease and power to choose would weaken.

Luckily we have laws and rules.  Rules do not confine or restrict us.  In reality, rules and laws give us freedom.  They allow us multiple choices by the minute, even more if we choose to obey them.  In my kindergarten classroom I have a clip chart based on student behavior. Each student has a clothes pin with their name on it.  Each day students start in the middle green square entitled “Ready to Learn”.  Depending on their choices they can either move up or down.  As a natural consequence, those whom make more positive choices than negative tend to earn more trust in the classroom.  However, just because a student makes a great choice and moves up or a poor choice and moves down doesn’t mean they will stay there the entire day.  They are free to make choices, but justice will be honored and their clothes pin will move.  I am always there to encourage good behavior and show what it looks like.  Because I care for my students, I want them to do well. I can’t, however, force them to choose good by making their choices for them.  That would go against the very thing I was trying to teach them: how to better ones self.  The good news is that they have multiple chances to improve.  Mercy plays a role in my classroom as well.  If my students didn’t have a chance to try again, how would they learn?  There would be no motivation to even try.

The power to improve one’s life is the motivation behind freedom. If we didn’t have rules we couldn’t learn and if we didn’t learn we couldn’t progress.  What a liberating thought to think that our power to choose can make us better people.  When we continually make poor choices with no effort to do better we are actually subjecting ourselves to bondage.  We are confined to a state of misery making no progress. And if we have no motivation to progress, then there is no point to freedom. However, because of the law of justice and mercy rolled into one, the more progress we make, the more choices become available to us.  The more choices we have, the freer we become.

So, to answer the question posed in my journal: What does freedom mean to you?.... it means everything.  I am tremendously grateful for my power to choose.  When we change freedom from a selfish perspective where all we think about is ourselves, to one that enables us to make this would a better place, the blessing has so much more value.  If we try to do better each day, we are doing good to our neighbors because it allows more freedoms or choices to take place. And that, my friends, is when we are truly free.

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[1] Freedom (2018) Oxford Living Dictionaries. Retrieved on August 11, 2018 at https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/freedom