Away in a Manger

Stone manger in Israel via huntsmansintheholyland.blogspot.com

In the town of Greccio, Italy in 1223, St. Francis of Assisi created the first Nativity scene to help his parishioners understand the humble beginnings of Christ’s birth. He later told a friend, “I want to do something that will recall the memory of that Child who was born in Bethlehem, to see with bodily eyes the inconveniences of his infancy, how he lay in the manger.”

Since this time, the manger has been a symbol of the humble conditions of Christ’s birth. The song “Away in a Manger” focuses on the manger in the events that happened in Bethlehem more than 2000 years ago. As the song opens, we sing:

    Away in a manger

    No room for a bed

    The little Lord Jesus

    Lay down his sweet head

At the time of Christ’s birth, Mary and Joseph, along with many others, set off on a pilgrimage “to be taxed, every one into his own city.”(Luke 2:3) Joseph, being from the lineage of David went to Bethlehem. Mary, a devoted spouse, went with him even though she was approaching full term of her pregnancy. Since there were so many people in the city of Bethlehem at this time, there was not much space for privacy, especially to give birth. But a cave was found for them where the animals were housed. There, Christ was born in humble conditions then wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger.

The humble shepherds are also well known in the Christmas Nativity. However, they set an example for us. They were the first to focus on the manger and their king whom laid therein. The dedicated shepherds left their livelihood, their flocks (their 90 and 9 sheep) to come and see the One: the Lamb of God. As they came with haste to worship the babe lying in a manger, they “reverently approached the stable. "And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child." (Luke 2:17)

Just as St. Fransis recognized the humble beginnings of Christ's life, I also think on the manger. It symbolizes the way Christ lived his life. He was humble in all he did and said. He always went about doing good, never flaunting the miracles he performed. Rather they were done lovingly and usually in private, focusing on the one. And then still, with a difficult sacrifice ahead of him, he humbly, lovingly, and privately went into the garden for each one of us, individually. The greatest miracle of all was given to us as a gift: His Atonement.

This Christmas season, as we celebrate the coming of our Savior, remember the symbol of the manger. Instead of endless shopping, activites, and decorations strive be as the shepherds and come with haste to worship the one, the Holy One of Israel. Let us think of the babe lying in a manger who grew up and went about doing good. And let our hearts swell with gratitude as we ponder about the precious gift he gave to us in the garden. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotton Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved" (John 3:16 &17)

You Are Loved

If you are anything like me, life can overwhelm you to the point where you shift into survival mode. It seems that once you are in survival mode, it is very hard to get out because life keeps throwing stressors at you from every angle. All you can do at this point is defend yourself from the darts. And sometimes, when you feel all you can do is survive, good things can feel like darts too.

I have an amazing opportunity to be a presenter at professional development conferences for teachers in my district this year. I love to present and share my ideas. My district recently held a conference where I presented in four of the six sessions. There was a buzz and excitement to the experience that rapidly drained my already limited emotional reserves. Life has felt chaotic lately and I have had stressors hit me in all areas. It's resulted in expending more energy then I perceived to maintain my daily life. Well, I knew things were catching up with me when during the last presentation I hit a brick wall. It seemed like the only thing I could think of to kept me functional was to rely on the routine of the presentation. I didn't realize how drained I truly was until I returned home and found myself in an emotional state. It was one which causes you to roll up in a ball when the next little bit of stimulus hits you. It came just shortly after sitting down to relax in the form of an article I read from a church magazine. It was supposed to be uplifting but it had just the opposite effect on me. It left me depressed, anxious, alone, rejected, overwhelmed and above all, unloved. I felt guilty that something meant for good could trigger such negative feelings.

Life now days has positioned us to have these types of experiences more often. We are told by society that we must be superman or superwomen to make any kind of impact on the world or to have any kind of purpose. And then when we can't handle all the pressure, we have our melt downs.

I think that sends a message that we aren't receiving: SLOW DOWN, BREATH, and then SIMPLIFY.  It's not that we are weak or unable to get things done. Rather, I don't think we are meant to take on the world. I don't think we should require ourselves to be that superbeing we expect from ourselves. However, I do believe that life is meant to be tough. If we didn't do hard things we could never grow.

Just say this to yourself: I CAN DO HARD THINGS!

Peter, the chief apostle, first met Christ when he was a fisherman.  He was unlearned and untrained in the things he would soon be required to do. He had much doubt and disbelief at times. And just like all of us, his personality flaws got in the way of communicating the true desires of his heart. Peters greatest desire was to follow Christ. He wanted more then ever to be a disciple of his Master and act on his faith and desire to come unto him.

After Christ fed the five thousand, he asked his apostles to go into the boat and wait while he "sent the multitudes away." (Matthew 14:22) Christ then went up to the mountains to pray into the evening. While Peter and the other apostles were waiting for Christ, the waters in the sea became rough. The Sea of Galilee often experienced high winds and rough waters. Since Peter was a fisherman he had spent much time on this sea. Thus Peter was familiar with the situation. Yet, it was still a storm and a lot to handle. Then if the storm wasn't enough to worry about, the apostles looked out on the sea and saw someone coming towards then.

"And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer, it is I; be not afraid." (Matthew 14:26-27)

What happens next is what sets Peter, the unlearned flawed fisherman, apart from the rest. His faith was manifested in his actions which allowed a miracle to take place. Peter was called by Christ to come to him. And he, being just like all the others, was afraid. However, he was enabled to walk on the water, as Christ did, only because he had a willing heart to act and follow his Master.

"And he said Come. And when Peter was come down out the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.
But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.
And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?"(Matthew 14:29-31)

I find myself in the position Peter found himself in. I have all the faith I need until I notice the winds and then doubt sets in and I sink. And just like he did with Peter, the Savior stretches out his hand and offers to save me from my lack of faith- from drowning.

Nobody knows for sure how far Peter walked out onto the water before he sank. And the scriptures do not expound how they got back to the ship. However, one can only assume that they walked back to the ship together. We can only go so far on our own. However, when we walk hand in hand with the Savior we can always do hard things. We can always do things that we never thought were possible.

In his experience with Peter, Christ showed us how to love. I notice that when things in life get too overwhelming, my biggest need is to be told that my feelings are valid. I need to know that even though I am afraid, I am still loved. I need to know that I am still a good person even though I mess up or falter. This is hard to see when in a state of survival. My sight gets narrow and all I see are the darts coming straight towards me.  I have learned, however, it is imperative to not allow fear to hinder my faith. Even though I feel I have no strength during these times, I know that through small acts of faith I have just enough strength to stretch forth my hand to come unto my Savior. This is when I recognize the Savior and those around me were showing they loved me all along. I just didn't see it.

There is a poem that I think of often when I'm feeling alone called "Footprints". The unknown author describes the man in the poem feeling the most alone during the hardest times of his life.  When he inquired the Lord why this was so, the Lord replies:

My son, my precious child,

I love you and I would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering,

When you see only one set of footprints,

it was then that I carried you.   

The Lord will never leave you. He is there, just as he was for Peter, waiting for you to stretch forth your hand that he may save you. It is always there without price but it takes faith and hope to see the pure love the Lord will always have for you.

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong  unto them.
Behold, I will show unto the Gentiles their weakness, and I will show unto them that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me- the fountain of all righteousness." (Ether 12:27-18)

When we are humble, meek and come unto Christ, we are blessed to truly feel of his great and pure love.

Moroni taught:
"Wherefore, my beloved brethern, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen." (Moroni 7:48)

We must always remember to face our fears head on knowing that Christ is beckoning us to come unto him. It is through trials that we are humbled and get to truly feel the love he has for us. Yes, Peter had his flaws and shortcomings. However out of all the men on the ship, Peter was the only one who had enough faith to brave the storm and come unto Christ. His love for and faith in Christ allowed him to do what no other mortal had done: walked on water. And even though he doubted along the way, Christ still loved him. There is something about a hardship that humbles us enough to transform us. Through that transformation we are made pure and in the process gain a deeper relationship with our Savior. He knows the pain and hardship each one of us experiences. He felt it himself. Above all, he loved us so much that he chose to become subject the the ultimate sacrifice and die for all mankind that we might choose to follow him and partake of the precious give of eternal life.

When life is overwhelming and you are numb to the love that family, friends and Christ have for you, please know that just because you don't see it doesn't mean its not there. Pure love never hinges on your level of perfection or how much you can take on at one time. We are loved because we are valued to one another. And if we, being mortal with flaws, can love greatly, just think of how much your Savior loves you, he being perfect.

My Writing Journey: A Proper Romance

I am participating in the Writing contest: You are Enough, hosted by Positive Writers. This is my entry.

Most love stories involve a bit of drama at the right moments, a whole lot of emotion, and, of course, a happy ending. My story of becoming a writer is exactly that, an exciting and unique romance. There were definite moments of drama and I discovered feelings that were new to me. Yet, through all the trials, I came to fall madly in love with writing. It wasn't always like that. The beginning of my relationship with writing was a bit rocky. I truthfully was not fond of writing. I guess you could say that it wasn't fond of me either. However, it is interesting to experience how irony unfolds in unexpected places of your life.

I’ve learned a weaknesses can become your strength. Or in other words, that very thing with which you struggle can eventually become one of your greatest attributes. Maybe it’s because you struggle so much with it that you are constantly working on it. Or I wonder if that weakness is the very thing missing in your life. Then somehow, you find it, strengthen it, and eventually use it to fill the void.

I grew up a quiet girl whom was rarely noticed.  Some may say I blended into the background. Honestly, I was quite comfortable there.  Probably because I struggled with words.  I never knew what to say and writing was a frustrating, chaotic feat. Looking back I realize that deep down inside I didn’t feel like my words mattered.

This was a norm for me, at least until I hit the age of 40. I often heard that life in your 40’s is different: you finally start to figure a few things out about your life. This appeared to prove true in my own life. My situation in life seemed to have gone a completely different direction then I expected and I was working on making sense of it. I found myself in a bookstore one day. With a handful of books ready to buy, I mazzed my way through different sections of the store headed for the register. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a plain book humbly sitting between many other books with flashy covers. The word “journal” printed in small letters jumped out at me in the subtitle of the book. For some reason I stopped and picked it up. This was curious to me as I was not much of a journal writer. In fact, my relationship with writing still needed some intervention. I thought, however, that possibly this simple looking book could provide answers to some of my life boggling questions. Maybe, just maybe, I was having a serendipitous moment, or perhaps it was a change of heart. I like to think of it as divine intervention for at that moment I knew I needed to read the surprisingly interesting book because for me, it would be life changing.

A characteristic of any improving relationship, I started to see things through different eyes. I realized that I could write down all the words that came to my mind on paper, and that no one would judge me for them. It was a private conversation between my heart and my mind. I could stumble, go blank, and write gibberish and that was ok because that was what was in my mind. That was how I felt. I noticed the more I wrote the more I loved it and the more I loved it the better things got. I was finding my voice and in turn was gaining my confidence. I was experiencing something that was new to me and it felt exhilarating!

I have now fallen deeply in love with writing. I realized that the more I nurture the ability to express my thoughts and feelings, the stronger my relationship with writing becomes. It knows me better than anyone else. It doesn’t judge me, only accepts me as me, just as I am.

My safe haven

Once a weakness, writing- the very thing that terrified me growing up- has ironically become my saving grace. It strengthens me.  It loves me.  It lifts me up. It is a precious gift I was given that I want to share.

Now I love to share my words.  I love to share my ideas and thoughts because for the first time in my life, I feel like my words matter. Furthermore, I feel we all have hidden talents. We tend to compare ourselves to others and thereby deem ourselves unworthy or incapable. I feel I went too long hiding my voice. However, I have learned that our talents and gifts are given to us for a reason: we are expected to find them, work on them, and share them. You never know whom your words will touch for the better. 

Life is too hard to do it on your own. Sharing experiences and stories, both happy and sad, help others to feel they are not alone. I once felt alone, but writing has shown me that I have a place in this world. I matter. I am enough. I am loved.

The Significance of His Name

Many have heard the popular question "What's in a name?" But have you really stopped and thought about the significance your name has in your life? A name has the power to hold a person’s identity in one single word.  Its how we are known and referred to in this world. Their name is the first word that comes to mind when another is thinking of a specific person. Needless to say, names are very personal.

I started thinking more about names this past summer. I have always loved to read, but books have never captured so much of my attention in absolute enjoyment as they have recently. And while I like a variety of books, my favorite genera is regency period novels.  One thing that sticks out to me in these books is how the people are addressed.  It is understood that the first name is held at the highest respect and only used by those who are closest to that person. When use, it indicates a higher level familiarly. Therefore, out of respect, a person must be given permission to use it.

The people who lived during the regency period viewed surname as more than part of their identity. It held their reputation among society. It gave them security in their future and belonging. To the people in the regency period, the surname was of upmost importance.

And so, to answer that well known question: everything.  Everything is in a name.  They should be respected and honored. And yet sadly, our name is one of the first things attacked by those closest to us. By those we would give permission to use our first given name. By those we trust.

All things have an opposite. The opposite of respecting a name or someone's identity is disrespect or destruction.  One sure way to destroy another's name, reputation, identity is through gossip. Gossip is when we talk of others in a degrading way. We say words that are unkind and hateful. We use their name in vain. In a novel I recently read, Sofia, the main character, was discussing her feelings to Mr. Gerald of others gossiping about her.  His reply, though simple, was very profound to me.  He said "...people say all manner of things when they do not understand the truth."[1] How woeful that people will take someone’s identity and pursue its destruction when they do not understand the truth. 

I'm sure we have all had our names dragged through the mud a time or two. I know I have. It is hurtful. I felt betrayed and hated.  I wondered what I did that made these people talk so poorly about me with others that I also respected. It played with how I saw myself. It influenced how others saw me. In every sense of the word, gossip is destructive.

And that has made me think...

There is one person who lived on this earth that has had his name, his identity, disrespected more than anyone else. I believe many do it not understanding the truth of what they are doing. I come across people every day who use the Saviors name as a way to express emotions such as frustration, annoyance, fear, and hate. This wrenches my heart because His name symbolizes nothing even near those emotions.

The other day I heard children make joking remarks about the Saviors name. It broke my heart that children were mocking that very being who will comfort and love them. I am even more despondent to know that they learn this very behavior from grown-ups that should be teaching them respect. They should be encouraging depth, gratitude, patience, and love. And yet, these very comments were a display of mockery, emptiness, and pride.

Robert Millet wrote, "To speak the name of Christ lightly or to speak of the work of the Only Begotten Son flippantly is to take the name of the Lord in vain. Vanity is lightness, shallowness, emptiness."[2]  How sad that people use the name of Christ with shallowness and emptiness. And how ironic that He, the one so many disrespect and aim to destroy, is the one and only that has saved us from destruction.

I am in awe when I think of the many things Christ has done for me. All that I have and am able to do is because of Him. I am grateful and humbled, and therefore use his name with absolute respect and reverence. He is my Redeemer, Creator, and King.  He is the Almighty, the Most High, and Eternal Judge. He is the True and Living God, Holy One of Israel, and True Messiah.

I know he lives. I know he redeemed us from destruction. I know he is all forgiving, loving, and kind. I respect him and serve him. He is my god and, more intimately, my friend. I will forever keep his name sacred. For his name... He, is my everything.

---

[1] Allen, Nancy Campbell (2017) The Secret of the Indian Orchid. Salt Lake City, UT: Shadow Mountain.

[2] Millet, Robert (2018). The Atoning One. Salt Lake City, UT: Deseret Book Company.

Photo Contest

Living life is all about new experiences and taking chances.  I decided to take a chance and I entered a photo contest hosted by the city I live in.  I was invigorated by the opportunity to be involved and showcase what is special to me. I narrowed my picture options down to five choices. From there, it was so hard to pick.  Each one had a story....a story from my life.  But I decided on the "Butterfly" and the "Rose".  I love close ups and these two show cased just that.  Below you will find to two pictures I submitted. You can even be involved in the voting process.  Just click on the photo name below the photo and it will take you to the page you can add your vote. (Voting runs from September 1 to September 15, 2019)  Which, by the way, I would be so grateful!

I also wanted to add my story behind these photos and why they tell so much more that 1000 words.

Butterfly

Butterflies are a favorite among many.  Perhaps its the symbolism behind them.  Or perhaps it their beauty.  I fell in love with butterflies just a few years ago. I stumbled across a story about a boy who saw a butterfly in a chrysalis. He kept a close watch on this butterfly until one day when he saw it struggling to break free from its chrysalis. The boy felt bad for the poor butterfly and decided to help it.  He snipped the chrysalis and out fell the butterfly. Sadly, just a short time after, the butterfly died. Ironically, the butterfly needed to go through the struggle in order to survive the trials it would later face.  However, because it was denied the opportunity to become strengthened, it died.
This too, is like our lives.  We must face challenges to become strengthened. Likewise, we must allow others to struggle.

It amazes me the transformation a butterfly makes.  It starts as a caterpillar, who's only task in life is to eat.  But after several days in a chrysalis with hardship and time, it becomes a beautiful butterfly.
This butterfly was taken on a day I struggled with my own life.  I was unsure of the path I was on. I needed a change. It reminds me that tho life my be difficult and change may be hard, it is good for us. I am excited to see where my adventures will take me.

This picture of the rose was taken in my back yard about one year ago. I love flowers. They fascinate me. They have such delicate details. Their beauty only last just a few days to weeks then they die. But the flower serves a purpose. It holds the seeds for new life. It is what provides joy to people, pollen to bees, and homes to creatures. Although it lives but a short time, that time and service makes a huge impact on the world.

Rose

My love of flowers started with the influence of my mother. Growing up, I remember her paying such close attention to her yard.  She spent hours planting, nurturing, and caring for her flowers. They brought joy and peace to her busy, stressful life. When I grew up and moved away, one of the first things I wanted in my yard was flowers. This rose represents the peace and beauty my mother represents. The delicate features in her life have a purpose.  They bring joy to my life, nutrients to my soul, and a place to come home to. My mother is beautiful in every way possible. She, just like this rose, has made a huge impact on my own life, my world.

This year for her birthday, I wanted to give back to her.  I gave her a rose bush and planted it in her yard. And while she cant dedicate hours to her yard anymore, she does have a single rose bush to remind her of the joy and peace that flowers bring into her own life.

These are but two of the many photos I've taken over the years. All of my pictures are, to me, more than 1000 words. In essence, photos capture the beauty in life.  They help us remember joy, accomplishment, and growth.  Within each picture is an art unique to each person: their story.

The Paradox of Life

The mind and body are tricky. They often work against each other when it comes to feeling good about ourselves and what we can do. Because of that, I often struggle in my mind about my body and what I have done with my life... life situations. And yet, the paradox is that I need my mind and body to make any kind of progress. Its a daily struggle. I so long to feel whole...

But what if I'm already whole? What if all I need to do to feel whole is to remember and apply one thing?

The other day I went to a conference where Dr. Matt Townsend, a life coach among many other titles, spoke. After hearing his thoughts, I starting thinking about my life experience. Then, I thought about Christ and his mortal experience.

A story came to mind.

At the beginning of Christs mortal ministry he traveled back to Nazareth to teach those he grew up with. One the sabbath day he went to the synagogue to read out of tradition. He was reading a particular passage in Isaiah that prophesied of the coming of a savior, one who would be sent to heal the brokenhearted, preach deliverance to the captives, recover sight to the blind, and set at liberty those who were wounded. In his reading, Christ mentioned that he was the one who was anointed to come and do what the scriptures have said. The people in turn looked at him in astonishment.  They couldn't believe what he just said and didn't let anytime waste before the kicked him out of tow for saying such blasphemy. To them, he was just the carpenters son and nothing more. And yet, in reality, he was the creator of this world.

Christ's life was filled with one paradox after another. To the mortal mind, this is confusing and disheartening. And may even seem unfair. And yet, it was they way things needed to be. In the end, he needed to be crucified because for us, it was the only way we could overcome mortality. It was the only way we could live again.

So, I started to think...

What if all the trials and paradoxes in my life also had purpose?

What if they were for my benefit?

Maybe, just maybe they were there to help me overcome my weakness. They were there to help me be more like my Savior.

In his message, Matt Townsend gave a analogy of folding a napkin. He said that it has been discovered that for a human body to be created, cells must divide trillions of times. Well, if you had to fold a napkin, or your laundry, trillions of times, how many times would it be perfect? Our bodies also have "miss-folds". Or in others words, there are many deformities of cells that happen. Sometimes this comes in the form of disease. Sometimes we see some physical attributes as "miss-folds" such as the way our body is shaped or how much hair we have. Sometimes we blame our talents/ abilities (or lack thereof)  or even addictions on "miss-folds". However, these "miss-folds" are usually not the problem. You see, our bodies get a bad rap for doing or being what they were simply programmed to do or be. We look at them and sometimes blame many of our biggest problems on them. Here is the issue: in these times, we are experiencing life through our mind. Our perception of how things should go or be as we see it. However, we fail to see ourselves as the Savior sees us. We fail to see life and experiences as the Savior would see them. Maybe, just maybe they are a bunch of paradoxes that are present because that is how our life needed to go to learn and do what we needed to learn and do. We often fail to see things through a bigger scope with love, acceptance, and patience; we fail to look through our spiritual eyes.

I recently wrote a song called "Through His Eyes". It starts with a story about a blind man who was born blind. Despite what the the traditions of the people who saw the man as a sinner, the Savior saw him differently. He loved this man and therefore went about doing good. By the small means of spit and dirt, he healed the blind man. After being healed, this man saw more that the objects in front of him. He saw the purpose of his affliction as the Savior did.

The soul is the body and spirit combined. And because we are mortal, our bodies will dysfunction and not always work correctly. We will find those "miss-folds". We must remember that our body is a shell to house our spirit. Our body is not who we are. It does not define our true self. Our spirit is the definition of our character and nature. We must not allow our carnal mind to get in the way. We must not allow ourselves to be blinded by what the spirit knows to be true. Our spiritual eyes see life the way the Savior does. We see our weakness with a purpose.

When Christ was summoned because Lazereth had died, he did not come and immediately raise him from the dead. Rather, he felt Mary and Martha's pain, He wept with them. Christ weeps with us too. Sometimes, like Lazereth and the blind man, we are healed for a wise purpose. And sometimes unlike Lazereth, he will not heal us but rather allow us to keep our afflictions. This is not to be cruel but rather it is the individual path need to be perfected in Him. And just because we have one or two or several dozen "miss-folds" in our lives doesn't mean we cannot be whole because, just as he promised, we are whole through Him.

The Savior doesn't see us as fat, thin, married, single, rich, poor, beautiful, ugly, or talented. Those are titles the world places on us that we choose to see through with our mortal eyes. But when we look past those things, when we see ourselves and lives and our Savior sees us, all those labels go away. Instead of defeat, loneliness, despair, or rejection, we see peace, love, security, and purpose. We see progress and potential. We are at one with God.

When feeling insignificant, remember this....

                                                      Photo by Pedro Lastra on Unsplash

The world has billions of people all doing their own thing.  Some get recognized for their efforts and some don’t. Those of us who don’t may feel insignificant. We may think, "What have I got to offer?" We feel small in this space populated with so many people (past and present). And all we want to do is make a mark on the world... we want our lives to matter.  However, we are overwhelmed when we think of the amount of people who have, now, and will live. So many that it is comparable to the sand of the sea: countless.

In a culture caught up in competition and comparison, we may feel that even though we may have talents and abilities, what we have to offer is not good enough. I felt this way. I was always the shy girl in to corner that nobody noticed. I felt that my ideas, comments, actions, and accomplishments didn’t matter. And worse, I lived like I believed it. Last year I wrote a song called “My Gethsemane” that describes that very feeling. In the third verse I wrote:

Now on Earth, not sure of the task

The trial and strain I desperately mask

Am I of worth in this great plan?

Faith and trust, do not know if I can

My downfall? Lack of faith and trust.  Just like most of us, I have been hurt many times in my life. However, I allowed my lack of faith and trust to weaken with every hurt. I didn't trust people or situations and therefore didn't believe I was wanted. I allowed myself to feel more and more insignificant each time I faced a failure or rejection. This thinking only hurt me because it wasn't true. I was slowly self-destructing not giving myself a chance to reach my full potential. That is, until I came to realize something very important: All I am and do does matters.

I learned that to leave your mark in the world, you start with just one person.

A few years ago, I received a gift from the school district I was working for. It was a key chain shaped as a starfish with the words "One Person Can Make a Difference." Inside the box, was the following story:

One morning a man walked along a beach covered with thousands of starfish that had washed up during a storm. Now they lay dying in the sun. He saw a young girl picking up the starfish one by one and tossing them into the sea. As he approached her he count't help but ask, "Why bother? There are too many of them. You won't make much of a difference." She picked up another starfish and tossed it into the water. Then she turned to the man and said, "I made a difference to that one."

As we go through life, we never know who we influence. I think we don't truly grasp the reality of the difference we make. This past year I taught a student who was struggling. I decided to look at the situation as an opportunity to treat someone with love, patience, and hope. Some days were tough and others were good. At the end of the year, I read from his mother how through my choices to treat him as Christ would, I did more that I realized. She wrote:

"Miss Ward has taken my son who started kindergarten at level zero because he was so delayed. My son is now on track and ready to end the year above where he should be. I have watched him grow and learn so much from Miss Ward and I couldn't ask for a better teacher to teach my son. She has made a major impact on my family's life and we can't tell her enough how much we appreciate her."

It humbles me each time I read these sweet words this mother wrote. Again it starts with just one....

Christ, our Savior and great example, never allowed feelings of insignificance stop him from loving on each person, one at a time. He knew who he was and the importance of his service. At the beginning of his mortal ministry Jesus returned to his home town to minister to, or serve, his people. While hearing a sermon, he stood up and declared He was the Messiah. The people could and would not believe what he was saying.  Wasn't he the carpenter Joseph's son? However, he continued to serve to those who would allow him to. He focused on one person at a time.

The world has us thinking we need recognition to have any kind of significance in this world. It tells us that in order to be someone we must win at competition and be loved by all. However, Christ taught us different. He taught that it is by the small and simple acts of love that we truly make a difference in this world. When you show love one by one, you can feel the true impact you have in this world because to that "one", you just may have changed their world.

The Healing Effects of Gratitude

Thank you is a common phrase in just about every language. Some languages have multiple ways to say it. Most people can say thank you not only in their home language but in at least one other. It was one of the first phrases I knew when learning German. It seems to be one of the core words to learn when starting to learn a new language. I wondered why. It doesn’t seem like an easier word to say or even learn. Maybe it’s because “Thank You” is a nice thing to say. Or maybe it’s something more.

Since we were young, we have been told to say thank you because it is the polite the thing to do. Sadly, I have noticed that even though we are taught to say thank you, as we age, people seem to say it with empty meaning or not at all. Gratitude is a virtue that is increasingly diminishing in our society. Stress and entitlement replace it.  At the same time, there is alarming amounts of illness that plague our earth. The power in the simple phrase “Thank You” has become more real to me lately. In searching for healing with my own illnesses and tragedies, I found out that gratitude is not just a polite thing to do, it has amazing healing powers.

There is much research that stress is a root cause of many diseases.  And if it isn’t the root cause, well, it sure contributes to it. Stress on the body happens in a few ways: physical, emotional, and mental. We can experience stress even when we are unaware that it is happening. In his book, “When the Body Says No”, Dr. Gabor Mate defines stress as a “biological process, a wide-ranging set of events in the body, irrespective of cause or of subjective awareness.  Stress consists of the internal alteration- visible or not- that occur when the organism perceives a threat to its existence or well-being.”[i]  Or in other words, when the body feels threatened by a virus, situation, action, thought, person, etc. we experience stress. The body is amazing and protects itself by telling the immune system to start the stress response. Sometimes this is the “fight or flight” mode or in case of a virus or toxin, the body signals the T-fighter cells to kick into action. This is a great thing when we get right to solving the threat. But, in today’s society we live in our stress. We are either taught to “tough it out”, are bombarded with toxins in the air we breathe and food we eat, and/or don’t have the problem solving skills necessary to ease the burden. We just go on, day to day, in a state of stress that to us, feels normal.

The problem with living in our stress is that it keeps cortisol levels at a constant high and we eventually experience chronic inflammation throughout the body. This inflammation leads to heart disease (the number one killer in the U.S.A.), cancer, depression, anxiety, auto-immune diseases, and just about every other disease we know of. It alters the balance of the gut flora (the bacteria) in our intestines. About 80% of the immune system is in the gut. These bacteria interact with the immune system to help keep us healthy. Part of their job is to signal the Tregg cells in the immune system.  These cells go in and calm down the T-Fighter cells so the body can go back down into a state of rest. So when the good bacteria are disrupted, things can go awry with our bodies and inflammation can persist. This is just what has happened in my body.

I have been living in a state of stress for who knows how long. I, too, was a victim to our everyday “normal” living. Like most of us, I experienced some rough patches in my life. I thought I was eating correctly but wasn’t. (Our Western Diet has us confused with what is healthy.  They prepackage foods and slap a label saying it has the healthy benefits of this or that. We buy it and as a result, our bodies struggle to process it causing inflammation.) And, I’ve allowed others to treat me poorly. I allowed it because I learned to be a peacemaker and didn’t want to cause contention. This is ironic because there definitely was contention within my own mind. To manage the stress, I pushed my feeling down and never expressed them. I thought they’d just go away. But I was very wrong. Feelings just don’t go away. They come out in some form or another. For me, it was my health.

My poor choices caught up with me and I have been struggling with some health issues.  My neck and shoulders are often tight and stiff. In fact, I have woken up a few times noticing my jaw clenched or my shoulders tensed. When I exercise I notice my body tense and this is supposed to be something that relieves stress.  I have been frustrated with how my body is reacting. But it’s just trying to do what it needs to survive. I am working on learning to relax but this is easier said than done! Needless to say, I have struggled in the healing process.

Neale Donald Walsh said, “The struggle ends when gratitude begins.” Just like myself, we all struggle. That in inevitable in this mortal existence. Struggling can be good. It’s when learning occurs. But when it goes on too long, exhaustion, frustration, anxiety and depression set in. I have gotten there a few times (or more). Sadly, this is the breaking point for many and they end up giving up. I don’t think it’s because they want to, rather, they just don’t have the knowledge and tools to solve their problems. They (as I did) ask: How do I gain strength to preserver? How can I find peace? How do I heal from all the wounds rooted from my tragedy and the consequences that caused me to struggle? Mr. Walsh summed it up: we practice gratitude.

On the wall in my front room hangs the saying, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues…. but the parent of all the others.” Who said it, I don’t know.  However, it has a great impact. To be the “parent of all others” means that all other virtues stem from this single quality. “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. . . . Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”[ii]

We often label emotions as negative or positive. But, it reality, emotions are chemical reactions to the way the body is feeling in conjunction to the circumstances. When we have feelings such as anger, fear, anxiety, and insecurity we produce cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine, the chemicals our body makes when we are stressed. However, if we take those feelings and process them in a healthy way, we can turn them into feelings of forgiveness, trust, peace, and security. These feelings produce the chemicals opioid neuropeptides (a.k.a endorphins), serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. These chemicals work together to lower our stress levels and make us happy. Gratitude is the key that opens the door to process our anger into forgiveness, fear into trust, anxiety into peace, and insecurity into security.   

In my daily prayers, I thank my Heavenly Father for all the little things I have been given. I thank Him for the struggles I have encountered and the things I have learned because of them. I talk to Him about a plan to make difficult things lighter and ask Him to shoulder that burden with me. I thank Him for His support and growth in my life. I thank Him for all He blesses me with including my talents, loved ones, job, experiences and opportunities, and so much more. With His help, I am learning to process stressful emotions into peaceful emotions through gratitude.

We are told in the scripture that gratitude it pleasing to God. While thanking Him for all we have, it also shows faith in what we hope for. It acts as a trust in God that He will grant unto us those things we mostly desire because we know that if they are good, we will receive them. Christ talked to the people in the Americas after His resurrection about how much our Heavenly Father loves us and wants to give us good things. He said, “Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be open unto you. For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened. Or what man is thereof you, who if his son ask bread, will give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”[iii]

I have been given some great ways to heal from not only my muscle tension but from a few other things I am working on. Gratitude has allowed me to improve my eating. I am so grateful for the beautiful array of good, wholesome, real food available.  I now eat mainly “clean”. No processed food. I am working to heal my gut and my immune system so I can manage stress more effectively. Since the body and mind work together this is a great piece in healing from the inside out.

Gratitude has also allowed me to share my feelings more instead of “keeping the peace”. There have been some difficult circumstances to deal with but I come out feeling better of myself. I have learned that if people don’t like what I have to say and can’t talk it out, it’s better to leave them in their opinion. As a result, I am gaining my voice and my confidence. I am healing.

Zig Ziglar, an author and emotional speaker, said, “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.”  I have learned just that and more. Gratitude is healing. It allows one to gain power over their own life. It attracts forgiveness and promotes healing and growth. With each step we take with gratitude, we achieve small victories. When we put those small victories together we can achieve that which is great. And to me, that is why saying thank you is more than just a polite thing to do.  

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[i] Mate, Gabor M.D. When the Body Says No. Turner Publishing: Nashville, Tennessee, 2003. Page 28.

[ii] Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency (Center City, Minnesota: Hazelden, 1990), 218.

[iii] 3 Nephi 14: 7-11

Oatmeal Apple Muffins and a Bit on How Clean Eating Helps Heal Disease

Healthy eating has always been an interest of mine.  I have sought out healthy foods and enjoyed them. But it wasn't until I ran into some heath issues that I started diving into what foods are truly healthy and why. Our food industry has changed from local farms where it would feed neighborhood or towns to world wide mass food production that would feed, well, the world basically.  This has led to unhealthy food disguised as healthy. So many additives and sugars are put into our food to preserve it, and its making us sick. So, I started to take charge of my own health with the goal to give my body the nutrients it needs to function properly.
I recently read a book called "Eat to Beat Disease" by William W. Li, MD. He discusses five defenses your body is equipped with to fight disease. The amazing thing is that all five defenses are influenced by the food we eat. The five natural defense systems are angiogenesis (where your body makes new blood vessels for healing), regeneration (the stem cell production to repair a broken organ), microbiome (the community of bacteria that controls the chemical reactions our body responds to), DNA protection (the make up of our body and how it works to make our body function properly), and immunity (the 3 cell types of T-cells, B-cells, and Tregg cells and how they must be balanced to function properly). In referring to these 5 defense systems, Dr. William Li says:

"There is no "silver bullet" for any one disease or for overall health and longevity. No single factor in our life is going to prevent sickness. But my research shows we have something even better. There is a way to boost our own defense systems, so the body will heal itself. These revelations tell us that we have radically underestimated our power to transform and restore our own health."

This "way" that he talks about is food. By eating a clean, balanced diet, in addition to physical exercise, reducing our stress levels, and good medical care we can help our bodies protect themselves and even heal from diseases.
In my quest to become healthier, I have searched for recipes that incorporates a plant based diet with a few good meats and of course good old fashion plain yogurt. In doing that, I have found a recipe for oatmeal apple muffins that I modified to make my own. They have amazing healthy benefits with oatmeal, apples, cloves, honey, flax and chia seeds, and coconut products. When I ate one, I was in heaven. It proves that clean food is so much more tasty, enjoyable, and satisfying than anything you can buy already made from a factory.
Don't believe me? Try it yourself.

Oatmeal Apple Muffins

Makes 6 large or 12 regular muffins

3 cups oatmeal
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt (use sea salt or pink Himalayan salt for better health benefits)
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cloves
2 TBSP chia seeds
3 TBSP ground flax seed
1 cup unsweetened apple sauce
1/3 cup full fat coconut milk
1/3 cup extra virgin coconut oil
1/4 cup raw honey

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place two cups of oatmeal in a blender. Blend until it turns into a flour. Place oat flour and 1 cup oatmeal in a large bowl. Mix in baking soda, salt, cinnamon, cloves, chia and flax seeds until well blended. Add apple sauce, honey, and the coconut milk and oil then mix. Mixture will be wet. Do not over mix. In a muffin tin with either muffin cups or is greased with coconut oil, place mixture in each cup. Place in oven to bake for 25 minutes. Muffins will be done when toothpick inserted comes out clean. Remove from oven and transfer muffins to wire rack to cool.
I like to top them with a bit of honey.

Pete the Cat and the Cool Cat Boogie

Pete the Cat....a cat with a suave, carefree attitude. But then, we learn that even Pete allows the criticism of others to get in the way of his confidence. I absolutely adore this book and not only because it is about dance.  However, that is what caught my eye.  It teaches a valuable lesson that in all we do we must be ourselves.  There is so much critique from friends, family and of course the world. But it wont be until we learn to do be ourselves that we find our happy grove.

Pete the Cat was learning a new dance—  the COOL Cat Boogie! Then Grumpy Toad came along. “I really dig that song but Pete, you dance all wrong!” Pete did not know what to say. He just tuned and walked away.

Pete couldn’t sleep at all that night! “What if Grumpy Toad was right? What if my moves are bad?” The thought of NOT dancing made Pete feel sad. “Dancing is like magic! When I hear a groovy beat I’m full of happy in my feet! I won’t give up!  I love to dance. Let me give it one more chance.”

Pete was practicing the Cool Cat Boogie when he saw Squirrel. “Hey, Squirrel, How do you dance? How do you groove? Can you teach me how to move?” “Sure, Pete! It’s a simple song. Just cha-cha-cha and dance along!” “Ahhhhh! Ouch! Pete, you stepped on my toes! That’s not how this dance goes!” Pete did not know what to say. He just turned and walked away.

“But dancing is like magic! When I hear a groovy beat I’m full of HAPPY in my feet! I won’t give up! I love to dance. Let me give it one more chance.”

Pete was still practicing the Cool Cat Boogie when Gus came along. “Hey, Gus! How do you dance? How do you groove? Can you teach me how to move?” “Sure, Pete! It’s a simple song. Just do a robot and dance along!” “Ouch, Pete, you bopped my on the nose! That is not how this dance goes!” Pete did not know what to say. He just turned and walked away.

“But dancing is like magic! When I hear a groovy beat I’m full of HAPPY in my feet! I won’t give up! I love to dance. Let me give it one more chance.”

Pete was still trying to do the Cool Cat Boogie when Turtle came along. “Hey, Turtle! How do you dance? How do you groove? Can you teach me how to move?” “Sure, Pete! It’s a simple song. Just shake your tail and dance along!” “Oh no! Pete, you fell! You tripped over my shell! Everybody knows that’s not how this dance goes!” Pete felt like giving up.

Wise Old Owl had been watching from his tree. “Pete, it doesn’t matter how you move as long as you are being you!” “You are right!!! I never want to miss a chance to dance!”

“When you hear a groovy beat and you feel happy in your feet, just dance, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE.” 

Dean, Kimberly and James. Pete the Cat and the Cool Cat Boogie. Harper Publishers: NY. 2017.

Get this book here

Love the Savior's Way

A lawyer once asked Jesus what the greatest commandment was. Out of all he could have chosen, the Savior chose the two that centered on love. He said, "Thous shalt love the Lord they God with all they hear, and with all they soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. The second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." (Matthew 22:37-39)

Love allows people to do more than they though was possible. One such miracle is the ability to heal. It also gives us the opportunity to become like our Savior. In Gethsemane, Christ preformed the ultimate act of love. He atoned for our sins that we may be forgiven and therefore work towards becoming like Him. Christ forgives us of our sins, so we too must show that same act of love when others do wrong to us. We are all imperfect. We all desire to be shown love and respect, despite our faults.

When and adulterous women was brought before Jesus, he asked those who have not sinned to cast the first stone. No stones were thrown. Christ showed that love helps us accept others despite their short comings. Just as we are commanded to love others, we are also commanded to love ourselves. Love yourself despite your short comings. We tend to judge ourselves harshly. Be kind and allow the love of the Savior to heal your wounds as you also love and forgive yourself.  

How to Act in Faith

We learn in Alma that “if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.” (Alma 32:21) Faith is the combination of hope and works.  If either of those were absent in the equation then it wouldn’t be faith.  We show faith in our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ by obeying the commandments, making and keeping covenants, and following the Spirit when prompted.  Moroni said concerning faith in a prayer, “O Lord, thy righteous will be done, for I know that thou workest unto the children of men according to their faith…; wherefore thou workest after men have faith.” (Ether 12:29-30) This tells me that we must first do all we can.  Sometimes when our righteous desire has not come to pass after doing so much, we wondering if we have done enough. These are the times we must then let go and allow our Savior to take over. Joseph Smith said, “Therefore, dearly beloved brethren [and sisters], let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power, and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.” (D&C 132:17) It is so important to believe in the power that is in Jesus Christ for those things to come to pass. The Lord knows what is best and will grant unto us what we ask, if it be right. Remember, we must work with God in all we do. And when we do, that is when we see miracles in our daily life. “For with God nothing shall be impossible.” Luke 1:37