My Writing Journey: A Proper Romance

I am participating in the Writing contest: You are Enough, hosted by Positive Writers. This is my entry.

Most love stories involve a bit of drama at the right moments, a whole lot of emotion, and, of course, a happy ending. My story of becoming a writer is exactly that, an exciting and unique romance. There were definite moments of drama and I discovered feelings that were new to me. Yet, through all the trials, I came to fall madly in love with writing. It wasn't always like that. The beginning of my relationship with writing was a bit rocky. I truthfully was not fond of writing. I guess you could say that it wasn't fond of me either. However, it is interesting to experience how irony unfolds in unexpected places of your life.

I’ve learned a weaknesses can become your strength. Or in other words, that very thing with which you struggle can eventually become one of your greatest attributes. Maybe it’s because you struggle so much with it that you are constantly working on it. Or I wonder if that weakness is the very thing missing in your life. Then somehow, you find it, strengthen it, and eventually use it to fill the void.

I grew up a quiet girl whom was rarely noticed.  Some may say I blended into the background. Honestly, I was quite comfortable there.  Probably because I struggled with words.  I never knew what to say and writing was a frustrating, chaotic feat. Looking back I realize that deep down inside I didn’t feel like my words mattered.

This was a norm for me, at least until I hit the age of 40. I often heard that life in your 40’s is different: you finally start to figure a few things out about your life. This appeared to prove true in my own life. My situation in life seemed to have gone a completely different direction then I expected and I was working on making sense of it. I found myself in a bookstore one day. With a handful of books ready to buy, I mazzed my way through different sections of the store headed for the register. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a plain book humbly sitting between many other books with flashy covers. The word “journal” printed in small letters jumped out at me in the subtitle of the book. For some reason I stopped and picked it up. This was curious to me as I was not much of a journal writer. In fact, my relationship with writing still needed some intervention. I thought, however, that possibly this simple looking book could provide answers to some of my life boggling questions. Maybe, just maybe, I was having a serendipitous moment, or perhaps it was a change of heart. I like to think of it as divine intervention for at that moment I knew I needed to read the surprisingly interesting book because for me, it would be life changing.

A characteristic of any improving relationship, I started to see things through different eyes. I realized that I could write down all the words that came to my mind on paper, and that no one would judge me for them. It was a private conversation between my heart and my mind. I could stumble, go blank, and write gibberish and that was ok because that was what was in my mind. That was how I felt. I noticed the more I wrote the more I loved it and the more I loved it the better things got. I was finding my voice and in turn was gaining my confidence. I was experiencing something that was new to me and it felt exhilarating!

I have now fallen deeply in love with writing. I realized that the more I nurture the ability to express my thoughts and feelings, the stronger my relationship with writing becomes. It knows me better than anyone else. It doesn’t judge me, only accepts me as me, just as I am.

My safe haven

Once a weakness, writing- the very thing that terrified me growing up- has ironically become my saving grace. It strengthens me.  It loves me.  It lifts me up. It is a precious gift I was given that I want to share.

Now I love to share my words.  I love to share my ideas and thoughts because for the first time in my life, I feel like my words matter. Furthermore, I feel we all have hidden talents. We tend to compare ourselves to others and thereby deem ourselves unworthy or incapable. I feel I went too long hiding my voice. However, I have learned that our talents and gifts are given to us for a reason: we are expected to find them, work on them, and share them. You never know whom your words will touch for the better. 

Life is too hard to do it on your own. Sharing experiences and stories, both happy and sad, help others to feel they are not alone. I once felt alone, but writing has shown me that I have a place in this world. I matter. I am enough. I am loved.

The Significance of His Name

Many have heard the popular question "What's in a name?" But have you really stopped and thought about the significance your name has in your life? A name has the power to hold a person’s identity in one single word.  Its how we are known and referred to in this world. Their name is the first word that comes to mind when another is thinking of a specific person. Needless to say, names are very personal.

I started thinking more about names this past summer. I have always loved to read, but books have never captured so much of my attention in absolute enjoyment as they have recently. And while I like a variety of books, my favorite genera is regency period novels.  One thing that sticks out to me in these books is how the people are addressed.  It is understood that the first name is held at the highest respect and only used by those who are closest to that person. When use, it indicates a higher level familiarly. Therefore, out of respect, a person must be given permission to use it.

The people who lived during the regency period viewed surname as more than part of their identity. It held their reputation among society. It gave them security in their future and belonging. To the people in the regency period, the surname was of upmost importance.

And so, to answer that well known question: everything.  Everything is in a name.  They should be respected and honored. And yet sadly, our name is one of the first things attacked by those closest to us. By those we would give permission to use our first given name. By those we trust.

All things have an opposite. The opposite of respecting a name or someone's identity is disrespect or destruction.  One sure way to destroy another's name, reputation, identity is through gossip. Gossip is when we talk of others in a degrading way. We say words that are unkind and hateful. We use their name in vain. In a novel I recently read, Sofia, the main character, was discussing her feelings to Mr. Gerald of others gossiping about her.  His reply, though simple, was very profound to me.  He said "...people say all manner of things when they do not understand the truth."[1] How woeful that people will take someone’s identity and pursue its destruction when they do not understand the truth. 

I'm sure we have all had our names dragged through the mud a time or two. I know I have. It is hurtful. I felt betrayed and hated.  I wondered what I did that made these people talk so poorly about me with others that I also respected. It played with how I saw myself. It influenced how others saw me. In every sense of the word, gossip is destructive.

And that has made me think...

There is one person who lived on this earth that has had his name, his identity, disrespected more than anyone else. I believe many do it not understanding the truth of what they are doing. I come across people every day who use the Saviors name as a way to express emotions such as frustration, annoyance, fear, and hate. This wrenches my heart because His name symbolizes nothing even near those emotions.

The other day I heard children make joking remarks about the Saviors name. It broke my heart that children were mocking that very being who will comfort and love them. I am even more despondent to know that they learn this very behavior from grown-ups that should be teaching them respect. They should be encouraging depth, gratitude, patience, and love. And yet, these very comments were a display of mockery, emptiness, and pride.

Robert Millet wrote, "To speak the name of Christ lightly or to speak of the work of the Only Begotten Son flippantly is to take the name of the Lord in vain. Vanity is lightness, shallowness, emptiness."[2]  How sad that people use the name of Christ with shallowness and emptiness. And how ironic that He, the one so many disrespect and aim to destroy, is the one and only that has saved us from destruction.

I am in awe when I think of the many things Christ has done for me. All that I have and am able to do is because of Him. I am grateful and humbled, and therefore use his name with absolute respect and reverence. He is my Redeemer, Creator, and King.  He is the Almighty, the Most High, and Eternal Judge. He is the True and Living God, Holy One of Israel, and True Messiah.

I know he lives. I know he redeemed us from destruction. I know he is all forgiving, loving, and kind. I respect him and serve him. He is my god and, more intimately, my friend. I will forever keep his name sacred. For his name... He, is my everything.

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[1] Allen, Nancy Campbell (2017) The Secret of the Indian Orchid. Salt Lake City, UT: Shadow Mountain.

[2] Millet, Robert (2018). The Atoning One. Salt Lake City, UT: Deseret Book Company.

Photo Contest

Living life is all about new experiences and taking chances.  I decided to take a chance and I entered a photo contest hosted by the city I live in.  I was invigorated by the opportunity to be involved and showcase what is special to me. I narrowed my picture options down to five choices. From there, it was so hard to pick.  Each one had a story....a story from my life.  But I decided on the "Butterfly" and the "Rose".  I love close ups and these two show cased just that.  Below you will find to two pictures I submitted. You can even be involved in the voting process.  Just click on the photo name below the photo and it will take you to the page you can add your vote. (Voting runs from September 1 to September 15, 2019)  Which, by the way, I would be so grateful!

I also wanted to add my story behind these photos and why they tell so much more that 1000 words.

Butterfly

Butterflies are a favorite among many.  Perhaps its the symbolism behind them.  Or perhaps it their beauty.  I fell in love with butterflies just a few years ago. I stumbled across a story about a boy who saw a butterfly in a chrysalis. He kept a close watch on this butterfly until one day when he saw it struggling to break free from its chrysalis. The boy felt bad for the poor butterfly and decided to help it.  He snipped the chrysalis and out fell the butterfly. Sadly, just a short time after, the butterfly died. Ironically, the butterfly needed to go through the struggle in order to survive the trials it would later face.  However, because it was denied the opportunity to become strengthened, it died.
This too, is like our lives.  We must face challenges to become strengthened. Likewise, we must allow others to struggle.

It amazes me the transformation a butterfly makes.  It starts as a caterpillar, who's only task in life is to eat.  But after several days in a chrysalis with hardship and time, it becomes a beautiful butterfly.
This butterfly was taken on a day I struggled with my own life.  I was unsure of the path I was on. I needed a change. It reminds me that tho life my be difficult and change may be hard, it is good for us. I am excited to see where my adventures will take me.

This picture of the rose was taken in my back yard about one year ago. I love flowers. They fascinate me. They have such delicate details. Their beauty only last just a few days to weeks then they die. But the flower serves a purpose. It holds the seeds for new life. It is what provides joy to people, pollen to bees, and homes to creatures. Although it lives but a short time, that time and service makes a huge impact on the world.

Rose

My love of flowers started with the influence of my mother. Growing up, I remember her paying such close attention to her yard.  She spent hours planting, nurturing, and caring for her flowers. They brought joy and peace to her busy, stressful life. When I grew up and moved away, one of the first things I wanted in my yard was flowers. This rose represents the peace and beauty my mother represents. The delicate features in her life have a purpose.  They bring joy to my life, nutrients to my soul, and a place to come home to. My mother is beautiful in every way possible. She, just like this rose, has made a huge impact on my own life, my world.

This year for her birthday, I wanted to give back to her.  I gave her a rose bush and planted it in her yard. And while she cant dedicate hours to her yard anymore, she does have a single rose bush to remind her of the joy and peace that flowers bring into her own life.

These are but two of the many photos I've taken over the years. All of my pictures are, to me, more than 1000 words. In essence, photos capture the beauty in life.  They help us remember joy, accomplishment, and growth.  Within each picture is an art unique to each person: their story.