Discovering Our Talents…How great they are indeed

I’m sure we have all been given the compliment “You’re so talented!” Most of us think of a talent as an ability that comes to us naturally.  We think that effort shouldn’t be required to get better, we just are.  But, if one of the purposes of life is to learn and we are automatically great at something, I wonder what the purpose of a talent is. Are they given to us for a reason? Talents seemed to be viewed as the abilities we can showcase but there are so many talents that people are not aware of or the world doesn’t seem to value. Those tend to be the ones that matter most.

I grew up with a girl named Brenda.  We went to elementary, junior high and high school together.  We were in band class and both of us played the clarinet.  I remember our yearly marching band camp and concert band trips to California. We had such a fun time sharing rooms.  To this day we still reminisce over the funny experiences we had. When we were together then and now, I watch Brenda interact with others.  She always treats people with love.  In fact, one of her favorite things in the world is to show love to those she cares about through hugs.

Sadly, there were times I did not appreciate her amazing gift.  Because of my own issues, I pushed people away, including Brenda. But she always stood in the shadows waiting for me to figure things out and then accept me with open arms as we reconnected. Brenda’s amazing capacity to love is indeed a talent that not everyone possess, but can. She had to work at it. Brenda has had many trials and struggles in her life that have given her the opportunity to open her heart and love others instead of shut them out.  Because of her choices and her hard work, her love is pure and unconditional. She sees the person as they truly are: a person of value and beauty.

Cotton Mather, a 17th Century American theologian and author, said, “Our opportunities to do good are our talents.”  The purpose of a talent is to do good for and to others.  Brenda is a true example of using talents for good.  Through her talent to love, she taught me that I am valued and loved not matter the mistakes I make.  That is a gift from Brenda I will always cherish and am currently working to develop. It is when we use our talents for our own personal gain that we change our perspective in life into one that is selfish in nature.  This change is happening everywhere. We live in a world where the central focus of a person’s life is themselves.  We often think, “What about me?”

The current fad in television shows is competitive reality TV. This past summer I watch World of Dance on NBC.  This is a show where dancers from all around the world come to compete for 1 million dollars by eventually preforming the top dance.  This show, and most all reality TV, is edited in such a way that it shows a piece of the competitor’s story, but this is only so we as an audience can connect emotionally with them. And if we do see their struggles, it is laced with loads of unnecessary drama. However, TV is not how real life works. TV is only entertainment. It is interesting that people fight for their spot on TV…. to get known.  Most use their talents as a vehicle to get there.  I’m not saying it’s bad to allow your talents to help you reach success.  In fact, finding then improving talents is a great approach to help us live a happy, productive life. But it made me wonder if we put more value on those talents that help us succeed rather than those that makes us better people. What is the difference between the two? Our mindset.

Dancing and other performing arts are definitely types of talents that can make us into better people.  As a dancer, I have learned about failure, self-esteem, and hard work.  But most people don’t connect those qualities with a performing arts talent.  They just see the wonderful performance and gawk over the person’s ability.  And this is where we get caught in the trap of using our talents for personal gain.  We motivate ourselves to work hard to gain a reputation, not to help others or better our personal self.  And that is where this mind set becomes not only twisted but also ironic because the purpose of a talent is to contribute to the amazing work of making this world a better place for all. This made me think of a lady I met many years ago who couldn’t showcase a skill on stage but she had the wonderful ability to listen. The sad thing is that if looked at through the eyes of the world, she wouldn’t be considered as talented as a person who could dance, sing, or paint.

Several years ago while I was attending college to become a teacher, I would volunteer at my mother’s school. She worked with a beautiful lady who knew how to listen.  When you talked, she stopped what she was doing, turned, and looked at you.  She didn’t think of what she was going to say next or worried that you came in at the wrong time because she had to get something done.  Instead, she was engaged in what you were saying and made you feel like your words mattered.  The conversation wasn’t about her, it was about the subject you brought up.  In the eyes of the world, her ability to listen would be considered a passive trait.  This is because the listener is allowing another to be the focal point. Talking, on the other hand, is viewed as the more active, strong trait because the talker is letting their thoughts be known. Of course both actions have their place and there must be a balance. Still, I view listening as a talent of strength, love, and unselfishness.  For when you listen, the other feels valued.

I’m sure this amazing lady didn’t wake up one day and decide that she was going to be a great listener.  It took work and time. To some it may appear that others acquire their talents so easily.  I believe that we can acquire any talent we want with the necessary work and patience.  Yes, it is true that some things feel harder than others.  But that doesn’t mean that we can’t learn.

Those who ever attended college know that writing papers is a common assignment. It was then that I realized how much I hated writing.  I would sit at the computer for hours, staring at it with no idea what to write. I have never been good at putting together words, both in the written or spoken form.  I stumble, especially when I am nervous, and many times my mind goes blank. But this past year, I read a book about journal writing.  I read how journaling is a great way to think through things and figure them out.  So, I tried it out.  I sat down and started to write.  The nerves dissolved because I knew no one would see the words but me. No judgement.  Absolutely, some of my sentences didn’t make sense when I reread my writing.  However, the more I wrote, the more comfortable I got. I felt my ability to express myself increased. I felt like I was gaining my voice.  After about a year, I noticed how much I enjoyed writing and received compliments on my style.  My weakness became (or is becoming- I’m still learning) a strength.  It took discovery, a desire, constant effort, and time.  I now see writing as something I love. It has been a blessing because it has helped me see life in a different light. I share my writing not so I can become famous one day or convince everyone that they should think like me.  I write because maybe, just maybe, through sharing my love of writing with experiences and thoughts, I could inspire someone. And maybe that inspiration could lead to making needed choices to have a happier, more fulfilled life. Most of that time, that one person is myself. The teacher always seems to learn more.

Talents, as shown in the story of me learning to write, are not limited to things that come natural to us.  If this were the case, we would be very limited on what we can accomplish in life. The first step in gaining a talent is to make a discovery.  To do that we must try new things.  We need to put ourselves into a position where we will learn and have new experiences. Then, we must have the desire to nurture it.  We can do anything we put our mind to.  It may take a whole lot of trial and failure but if we keep at it, pretty soon it will be second nature to us. One of my biggest pet-peeves is someone telling me I can’t do something.  I’ve had many experiences where I was told to give up.  I’m so glad I didn’t listen.

Sadly, we are too quick to give up on a talent if the motivation to keep going is not instant or what is valued by the population. Greed, power, and fame are the three things our world values above all.  The world tells us that if we don’t have money, and important position in life, and many people who know and respect us that we are of no worth. Many use their talents to get at least one of these three worldly possessions thinking that they will feel cherished once they earn it. I have found just the opposite is true. Worldly treasures are only temporary.  When I work hard to increase talents and then use them to help someone else, I am rewarded 10 fold by the way I feel and the qualities I inherit.  To me, that is far more valuable than what fame or fortune will ever give because those are the gifts that last for eternity.