Since we were young, we have been told to say thank you because
it is the polite the thing to do. Sadly, I have noticed that even though we are
taught to say thank you, as we age, people seem to say it with empty meaning or
not at all. Gratitude is a virtue that is increasingly diminishing in our
society. Stress and entitlement replace it.
At the same time, there is alarming amounts of illness that plague our
earth. The power in the simple phrase “Thank You” has become more real to me
lately. In searching for healing with my own illnesses and tragedies, I found
out that gratitude is not just a polite thing to do, it has amazing healing
powers.
There is much research that stress is a root cause of many
diseases. And if it isn’t the root
cause, well, it sure contributes to it. Stress on the body happens in a few
ways: physical, emotional, and mental. We can experience stress even when we
are unaware that it is happening. In his book, “When the Body Says No”, Dr.
Gabor Mate defines stress as a “biological process, a wide-ranging set of
events in the body, irrespective of cause or of subjective awareness. Stress consists of the internal alteration-
visible or not- that occur when the organism perceives a threat to its
existence or well-being.”[i]
Or in other words, when the body feels
threatened by a virus, situation, action, thought, person, etc. we experience
stress. The body is amazing and protects itself by telling the immune system to
start the stress response. Sometimes this is the “fight or flight” mode or in
case of a virus or toxin, the body signals the T-fighter cells to kick into
action. This is a great thing when we get right to solving the threat. But, in
today’s society we live in our stress. We are either taught to “tough it out”,
are bombarded with toxins in the air we breathe and food we eat, and/or don’t
have the problem solving skills necessary to ease the burden. We just go on,
day to day, in a state of stress that to us, feels normal.
The problem with living in our stress is that it keeps
cortisol levels at a constant high and we eventually experience chronic
inflammation throughout the body. This inflammation leads to heart disease (the
number one killer in the U.S.A.), cancer, depression, anxiety, auto-immune
diseases, and just about every other disease we know of. It alters the balance
of the gut flora (the bacteria) in our intestines. About 80% of the immune
system is in the gut. These bacteria interact with the immune system to help keep
us healthy. Part of their job is to signal the Tregg cells in the immune
system. These cells go in and calm down
the T-Fighter cells so the body can go back down into a state of rest. So when
the good bacteria are disrupted, things can go awry with our bodies and inflammation
can persist. This is just what has happened in my body.
I have been living in a state of stress for who knows how
long. I, too, was a victim to our everyday “normal” living. Like most of us, I experienced
some rough patches in my life. I thought I was eating correctly but wasn’t.
(Our Western Diet has us confused with what is healthy. They prepackage foods and slap a label saying
it has the healthy benefits of this or that. We buy it and as a result, our
bodies struggle to process it causing inflammation.) And, I’ve allowed others
to treat me poorly. I allowed it because I learned to be a peacemaker and
didn’t want to cause contention. This is ironic because there definitely was contention
within my own mind. To manage the stress, I pushed my feeling down and never
expressed them. I thought they’d just go away. But I was very wrong. Feelings
just don’t go away. They come out in some form or another. For me, it was my
health.
My poor choices caught up with me and I have been struggling
with some health issues. My neck and shoulders
are often tight and stiff. In fact, I have woken up a few times noticing my jaw
clenched or my shoulders tensed. When I exercise I notice my body tense and
this is supposed to be something that relieves stress. I have been frustrated with how my body is
reacting. But it’s just trying to do what it needs to survive. I am working on
learning to relax but this is easier said than done! Needless to say, I have
struggled in the healing process.
Neale Donald Walsh said, “The struggle ends when gratitude
begins.” Just like myself, we all struggle. That in inevitable in this mortal
existence. Struggling can be good. It’s when learning occurs. But when it goes on
too long, exhaustion, frustration, anxiety and depression set in. I have gotten
there a few times (or more). Sadly, this is the breaking point for many and
they end up giving up. I don’t think it’s because they want to, rather, they just
don’t have the knowledge and tools to solve their problems. They (as I did)
ask: How do I gain strength to preserver? How can I find peace? How do I heal
from all the wounds rooted from my tragedy and the consequences that caused me
to struggle? Mr. Walsh summed it up: we practice gratitude.
On the wall in my front room hangs the saying, “Gratitude is
not only the greatest of virtues…. but the parent of all the others.” Who said
it, I don’t know. However, it has a
great impact. To be the “parent of all others” means that all other virtues
stem from this single quality. “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns
what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to
order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a
home, a stranger into a friend. . . . Gratitude makes sense of our
past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”[ii]
We often label emotions as negative or positive. But, it reality,
emotions are chemical reactions to the way the body is feeling in conjunction
to the circumstances. When we have feelings such as anger, fear, anxiety, and
insecurity we produce cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine, the chemicals
our body makes when we are stressed. However, if we take those feelings and
process them in a healthy way, we can turn them into feelings of forgiveness,
trust, peace, and security. These feelings produce the chemicals opioid
neuropeptides (a.k.a endorphins), serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. These
chemicals work together to lower our stress levels and make us happy. Gratitude
is the key that opens the door to process our anger into forgiveness, fear into
trust, anxiety into peace, and insecurity into security.
In my daily prayers, I thank my Heavenly Father for all the little things
I have been given. I thank Him for the struggles I have encountered and the
things I have learned because of them. I talk to Him about a plan to make
difficult things lighter and ask Him to shoulder that burden with me. I thank Him
for His support and growth in my life. I thank Him for all He blesses me with
including my talents, loved ones, job, experiences and opportunities, and so
much more. With His help, I am learning to process stressful emotions into peaceful
emotions through gratitude.
We are told in the scripture that gratitude it pleasing to God. While
thanking Him for all we have, it also shows faith in what we hope for. It acts
as a trust in God that He will grant unto us those things we mostly desire
because we know that if they are good, we will receive them. Christ talked to
the people in the Americas after His resurrection about how much our Heavenly
Father loves us and wants to give us good things. He said, “Ask, and it shall
be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be open unto
you. For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to
him that knocketh, it shall be opened. Or what man is thereof you, who if his
son ask bread, will give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a
serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your
children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good things to
them that ask him?”[iii]
I have been given some great ways to heal from not only my muscle
tension but from a few other things I am working on. Gratitude has allowed me
to improve my eating. I am so grateful for the beautiful array of good,
wholesome, real food available. I now
eat mainly “clean”. No processed food. I am working to heal my gut and my
immune system so I can manage stress more effectively. Since the body and mind
work together this is a great piece in healing from the inside out.
Gratitude has also allowed me to share my feelings more
instead of “keeping the peace”. There have been some difficult circumstances to
deal with but I come out feeling better of myself. I have learned that if
people don’t like what I have to say and can’t talk it out, it’s better to
leave them in their opinion. As a result, I am gaining my voice and my
confidence. I am healing.
Zig Ziglar, an author and emotional speaker, said, “Gratitude
is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for
what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude
for.” I have learned just that and more.
Gratitude is healing. It allows one to gain power over their own life. It
attracts forgiveness and promotes healing and growth. With each step we take with
gratitude, we achieve small victories. When we put those small victories
together we can achieve that which is great. And to me, that is why saying
thank you is more than just a polite thing to do.
[i]
Mate, Gabor M.D. When the Body Says No. Turner Publishing: Nashville,
Tennessee, 2003. Page 28.
[ii]
Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on
Codependency (Center City, Minnesota: Hazelden, 1990), 218.
[iii]
3 Nephi 14: 7-11
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